cupcakesniper

The Climb-(Lexi's Cover) Miley Cyrus

2011-11-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

I am ready to spread my wings...

2011-11-01T22:59:00.001-07:00

Free to breathe, to live, to just be me.

Gosh it’s been a journey. The struggles have been hard but as I look back at the past few years of my life I see a growth, the process of a transformation, and I wouldn’t change the struggles I’ve been through for anything because they are what have made me who I am today. I used to see struggles as something I wish would just go away, now I see that out of my greatest struggles has come greatness.

I have learned to value the gifts God has given me. I took them for granted until I lost it all and didn’t know how to get it back. Slowly but surely I feel God returning them and I am learning to appreciate them so much more since I’ve had to work for them and can now see what life was like without them.

I have learned to see myself as worthy. When I had once seen myself as worthless, without value.

I have learned to set up healthy boundaries.

I have learned to look at myself honestly and know that I will always need to change and grow.

I’ve learned people come and go, but it’s not the end of the world.

I have learned to see the world as such a beautiful place again. To breathe in life’s beautiful scent. To love people again. To break for the broken. To break free of the bondage that held me down. To know that I am lovable. To know that I am beautiful. And the outward will fade, but true beauty lies within. To forgive.

I feel as a child exploring the world again and I thank God for the ability to feel this way again. It has been a painful process, but it makes me value the little things all the more.

I am ready to spread my wings.

To Make You Feel My Love Cover

2011-09-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

To Make You Feel My Love (click here)

I got inspired to sing a bit and this is one of my favorite songs. I love Adele's rendition of it but the first time I heard it I believe it was Garth Brooks who sang it. I'm not entirely sure who's version I did, perhaps some of my own, but anyways here it is :)

The pics are also just a little something from a "shoot" we did.

<3Lex

Forgiveness

2011-09-22T06:54:00.000-07:00

I’ve come to realize I’ve been a pretty slow learner in this life, but my God is so good and faithful to continue to work on me. I’ve been having to read a lot for school and different things made me really take a look at myself. I realized from an early age that relationships with people cause pain. Any relationship not just romance. That trust lacked. I wanted to be close to someone to let someone in but fearful of the pain they would cause when I did. The pain of being pushed away and rejected. The pain of not being good enough and failing once again somehow. Especially with a male. The pain of opening up and then broken. I held on for way to long to different hurts and attempted to avoid those pains again with all my human might but still trying to fill the void of being “loved” cared for or of some worth, without realizing I was repeating a cycle of hurt. I would genuinely care for a person and show interest but once feelings got too much that I would be filled with fear, the risk was too much and I would run away. I was only looking from my perspective though. It wasn’t until I realized the hurt I have caused others that I was able to fully forgive those who have hurt me. I’ve realized, we’re all human, wanting to feel loved and cared for but so frightened of being hurt we do things to avoid that pain. Although some people may intentionally go out to hurt others, I think the majority of people are just not really thinking of how actions affect others rather our concern is self-protection. I ask anyone I have hurt before for your forgiveness. I am truly sorry for my selfishness. Of being so afraid to get close I’ve pushed you away, or perhaps lead anyone on, broken hearts, damaged you for other relationships, caused you to be afraid of letting anyone in. I don’t know all the damage I’ve done, but I truly apologize from the bottom of my heart. I pray to God that people I’ve hurt in the past won’t have to pay for my mistakes. That He will heal your hearts and let you love fully. To those that have hurt me, if you ever worry or hold anything against yourself. Please don’t. You are forgiven. My heart has been replaced with love for you. To the most present one, I know it’s been a hard year, know that I pray for you and pray that God just pours His love on you abundantly and that you’ll succeed in everything you do. I know I’ve had a hard time forgiving in the past but God has really spoken to me in this area. I am no one to not forgive others, especially when I myself have hurt so many. Of sinners, I am the biggest. I don’t even deserve Gods love or forgiveness. I deserve for Him to have left me a long time ago. But if He hasn’t and has still loved me knowing all the hurt I’d cause Him, who am I to not forgive others?

We’re all just broken vessels trying to stay afloat.

The Rescue-We can all relate

2011-05-04T10:39:00.000-07:00

This is my unspoken letter to you

2011-04-02T06:31:00.000-07:00

Dear you,

I stumbled upon a page of yours the other day and it inspired me to write in hopes that maybe one day you'll stumble upon this and in someway I can communicate the things I've been wanting to say and have been carrying with me.

I want you to know how happy I am for you. To see that smile on your face, that joy. I can't help but smile back. To see you united with your family couldn't make me happier! I've been praying for you I hope that doesn't sound weird, but I've been praying that He would draw you close to Him once more. I know events had taken you so far away and had made you angry at Him which is completely understandable. I think everyone goes through those moments but to read the way you wrote about Him filled my soul with happiness. To see you so close with your family, your sister especially, I wish I had the words to say, to express how enthused I am, because she's looked up to you all along. I hope this doesn't come across weird, I mean all of this 100% and I wish somehow that I could tell you this in person but I know that will never be, so I hope you'll one day read this.

Your art, your words so eloquent, like poetry have improved and am excited to see how far you'll go and where God will take you. I can't help but think that there was so much unsaid and because of that I think there is so much misunderstanding between what happened. I don't even know. I don't know how you see things through your perspective of what happened if somehow we both ended up feeling the same way but neither one spoke out. I still cry about it all perhaps wishing things didn't end up the way they did or that things would have been worked through. I tried to act all strong that day, that call, I didn't want to argue, but I didn't know what to say, I just remember crying once we hung up. I was angry hurt and felt so many things at once.

I don't know how you felt about it all but I want you to know that one day while sitting at church God put you on my heart and removed anger and bitterness with forgiveness and love and I've been praying for you ever since. I hope one day you'll forgive me too. I'm sorry for being so weak at that moment in my life that I wasn't strong enough to be what you needed at that time too. Truly, I apologize. That was more weight than you could carry.

I will continue to hold you in my prayers and just wanted you to know I'm happy for you.

Again I hope this doesn't sound too weird either, but I'm glad you found love again. I don't want this to sound insincere, at first I was taken back, but I think she's what you need :) I think she'll draw out your strengths and help you grow in this season of your life and it seems the light in your eyes has returned.
And although a part of it hurts, the part within me that cares for you is truly, happy for you :)

Sincerely,
a part of your past.

Bri & Lex..Pix & vids

2011-02-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

Yea, Bri & I are at it again. Pics. Vids. We were just being silly little nooblets :)

This was us fooling around to: Iron Maiden's Metal version of Phantom of the Opera.

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

Showing some love to Beauty & the Beast

go here for video :)

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
-Ashley Smith

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure” -Peter Marshall

Girls Just Want to Have Fun! (image heavy)

2011-02-01T19:09:00.000-08:00

So yea, even though I'm going to be 25 this year there's this little 5 year old girl in me who doesn't seem to ever get old. She's the part of me that simply loves unicorns, mermaids, kid movies, and well obviously, playing dress up! Luckily I have a great friend to have these adventures with :)
You can follow Bri. <--click here

She's freaking amazing, adorable and talented! :)

Phantom of The Opera Metal {Video}

2011-01-29T13:35:00.000-08:00

Doll Face - Beauty, something elusive and subjective

2011-01-12T05:39:00.000-08:00

Baby Its Cold Outside

2010-12-22T06:13:00.000-08:00

Bri and I just wanted to wish you a silly Merry Christmas! :)
Keep warm fellow comrades!
<3Lex

Indian Warrior Princess Makeup Tutorial

2010-12-18T06:59:00.000-08:00

Hope you guys enjoy it :) I had a fun time doing it. It's been a while, but this art piece has been inspiring me for awhile now :)

An Unsweetened Tale [silly video].

2010-12-17T06:52:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when boredom strikes :)

I want to thank Adam for being such a good sport and playing along with me <3
I loveth you best friend <3

You guys can actually go check out his blog at hm44.blogspot.com
Hit him up.

Thanks for watching and hopefully you found it somewhat amusing, if not, we did :)

<3Lex

Indian Warrior Princess [image heavy]

2010-12-17T06:49:00.000-08:00

My Inspiration for it all.

<3 Lex

Indian Warrior Princess Makeup Tutorial

2010-12-17T06:36:00.000-08:00

Hope you guys enjoy it :) I had a fun time doing it. It's been a while, but this art piece has been inspiring me for awhile now :)

Red Riding Hood - Trailer

2010-12-11T22:27:00.000-08:00

Looking forward to seeing this :)

Mary did you know (Cover)

2010-12-10T06:52:00.000-08:00

Singing Christmas Songs :)

2010-12-10T06:51:00.000-08:00

December is FINALLY HERE!

2010-12-01T06:18:00.000-08:00

Hello December!!

You’ve finally arrived! I’m so excited this year!

Today is the beginning countdown til Christmas and it shall begin with pretty Decembery pictures :)

What are things you're looking forward to in this month of December?! :)

Underwater Photography [image heavy]

2010-11-30T20:33:00.000-08:00

Alice in Wonderland Shot by Elena Kalis

Vintage

Beautiful

Saga Sigurdardottir

sarah sitkin

Desiree Dolron

Elena Kalis

Ashley Autopssy ^

Saga

Hope you enjoyed <3

What Love Really Means

2010-11-30T19:57:00.000-08:00

What Love Really Means.

Haven’t we all questioned who will love me for me? For all my flaws, all my mistakes, all the darkest parts within me? Who will never leave me and take me for all I am? Who will love me unconditionally?

I believe we all long to be loved. At times we’re afraid we’re unlovable. We hide so many parts of us away because we’re afraid no one would love us if they saw our struggles. If they saw all the pain and turmoil we carry within. If they knew everything we thought.

There is Someone though who LOVES us despite our failures, despite our messed up thoughts, despite how many times we’ve betrayed Him and put Him aside. His love is unconditional and when we finally can wrap our minds around that, perhaps then, we can learn to love ourselves as well and see us how He sees us and learn to love others unconditionally as well.

Dear friend,

2010-11-30T19:55:00.000-08:00

I hate to see you hurting. To know every day you’re crying, hopeless, and don’t want to carry on.

I wish I had all the words to say to take it all away. I wish I could shield you in my arms so you’d never have to feel pain. I wish they’d open up their eyes and see this isn’t a game.

There are no 1 ups or continues, only game over and by then its too late.

What I can say is that I’ve been in your shoes, I have felt that despair.

I can say I think you’re the reason He spared me.

To tell you I know it’s hard but it’s not permanent.

I’m here to listen and try and help as much as I can.

I’m here to tell you you’re worth so much more than you think.

I’m here to tell you that so many people would be heartbroken if you weren’t around.

I’m here to make a fool of myself just to see you laugh.

Please hold your promise and stay.

I’m here and I love you and can’t imagine this world without you.

Enough Said

2010-11-29T06:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

2010-11-28T22:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,
I know I’m a bit early, but I was just hoping you could add one of these to my Christmas list :)

Falling asleep under the stars every night would be a dream come true, even if they’re artificial :)

mmk Thanks!

oh! and by the way, I’ll make sure to leave you EXTRA large cookies :)

ok Goodbye for now!
<3Lex

Stop Motion

2010-11-28T22:09:00.000-08:00

Validation

2010-11-27T11:45:00.000-08:00

Thankful

2010-11-27T11:20:00.000-08:00

I'm a little behind on my Thanksgiving post but I wanted to let you all know how thankful I am for each and every one of you. For all your kind and encouraging words and support! You have no idea how much they've meant to me and stay with me til this day! I thank you!!

I have so much to be thankful for really. I can't complain. I have an amazing family who has been a rock to me! My God who never gives up on me and has shown me what unconditional love looks like. And the bestest friends I could have ever asked for!!!!!

Hope you guys had an amazing Thanksgiving with your loved ones and ate lots :)

How He Loves Us (cover)

2010-11-16T21:30:00.000-08:00

Hey guys this video is my friend Danny & I singing for the first time together since graduation :)

We're doing the cover of How He Loves Us by John McMillan.

It feels so good to be singing again especially with him! and this song is just beautiful!

We want to start making videos of covers and hopefully write some songs. If you can please go visit

our new youtube channel www.youtube.com/dannyandlex and subscribe! Feel free to recommend any

songs you'd like to hear :)

Thank you loves!

<3
Lex

Things to do in Traffic

2010-11-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

Things to Do When Stuck In Traffic

1.Blast your radio up and sing like you're at your own concert (if you don't enjoy that at least you'll get a kick out of the people's reactions).

2. Pop in an audio book :)

3. Pick your nose and pretend to fling it at the car next to you :)

4. Call a Friend (headphones, bluetooth, both hands on wheels of course ;)

5. Pray, Talk to God.

6. Talk to yourself. Work on time to practice positive self-talk, evaluate where you're at, what needs to be changed and how you can change that.

Here are only a few to help those long drives and time in traffic!

I would love to hear any of your guys ideas so feel free to share :)

Have a great drive,

<3Lex

Dare to be Beautifully Different

2010-11-03T20:01:00.000-07:00

There's something beautiful about things in places they don't normally belong.

There's always been something so intriguing that's drawn me in and captured my attention.

As if though for a moment reality has escaped to a place I've only dreamt of, a place once unattainable.

Perhaps at times I feel like these pictures.

I don't always belong or fit in to the picture,

but even in all of my out of place areas,

together,

as a whole,

there's a beauty about that difference.

At times we try and fit a cookie cutter mold

that people have laid out of what they think we should be

Where they think we belong, or how we should look.

We get caught up in the struggle of who we are and who we're

told to be that we forget the beauty in being different.

Perhaps this post makes sense to no one but me, and I'm okay with that.
I'm glad I just get to share these pictures with you. :)

An amazing depiction of this is in Augustana's Boston video where he's playing the piano on the ocean shore and the water is crashing in and piano's all around, such beauty.
watch here

Have a wonderful night lovelies,
and remember,
dare to be beautifully different.
It's that difference thats so intriguing about you :)

<3 Lex

Aaron Gillespie's story

2010-10-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

I can't help but be moved by his realness and love for God.

there couldn't be a more perfect song.

2010-10-18T05:19:00.000-07:00

Sonny from P.O.D.'S STORY

2010-10-18T05:08:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how many of you have heard of P.O.D before. If you haven't listened to their music, you definitely should. but whether you have or haven't, I encourage you to listen to Sonny's story.
I was incredibly moved by it and I hope you will be too.

Sonny's Story

hope you enjoy :)
<3
Lex

Beauty in Colors [Image heavy]

2010-10-13T23:48:00.000-07:00

I love the beauty of colors.

Color has the ability to draw out a string of emotions at any given moment.

And of course although all colors are beautiful in their own way we seem to draw out to

certain ones the most.

I can't seem to get past the excitement every time I see red hair! So many shades, yet so much beauty!

I've collected a few of my favorites to share with all you beautiful people :)

and this post just wouldn't be the same without my all time favorite redhead :) Alison Sudol!

Aside from hair the color that spruces up the most excitement, the one that draws out every inner childhood being I have within me is...ok well...I'm not sure what the exact name is whether teal, aqua, blue, seafoam green, but I know when I see it that I absolutely love it :)

The Almost - True meaning of a Christian

2010-10-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

I know life can hand us some pretty hard turns and can leave us confused on who God is, who we are in God, and what it means to be a christian. It almost seems when you're down in the dumps Christians are the first one to put you down and hurl a stone of hurtful words or glares your way, but I ask that we never judge God by people's actions.
We're all human. We fall. We make mistakes, but that is the beauty of Christ. He sees all our imperfections and loves us unconditionally. So I ask you not to judge God through others, but through the life He lived. A life of love.

Enjoy the video :)

<3Lex

ps. thanks for encouraging me to write this post ;)

Solotica Contacts Hidrocor Ice

2010-09-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

Where to buy: www.wrlens.com

you can buy with or without prescription.

Take 1-3 weeks to ship, they are being shipped out from Brazil.

I use Complete contact solution to clean and AOSEPTA to disinfect.

My natural eyes are medium brown.

I think I'm covering all the questions I've been asked, but if not feel free to ask and I'll try to help as best I can ^_^

<3 Lex

& thanks Joey for the song :) follow him www.twitter.com/joeyBsexy

Whenever you need a laugh..

2010-09-12T11:48:00.000-07:00

Poem for Everyman

2010-09-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

This poem was given out in my class yesterday and I thought it was beautiful and true and wanted to share with the rest of you.

via weheartit.com

I will present you

parts

self

slowly

if you are patient and tender.

I will open drawers

that mostly stay closed

and bring out places and people and things

sounds and smells, loves and frustrations,

hopes and sadnesses,

bits and pieces of my life

that have been grabbed off in chunks

and found lying in my hands.

They have eaten

their way into my memory,

carves their way into

my heart.

Altogether-you or I will never see them-

they are me.

If you regard them lightly,

deny that they are important

or worse, judge them

I will quietly, slowly

begin to wrap them up,

in a small piece of velvet,

like worn silver and gold jewelry,

tuck them away

in a small wooden chest of drawers

and close.

-Anonymous

Via weheartit

The Price of Beauty

2010-09-07T18:10:00.000-07:00

So I've enjoyed watching the different episodes of Jessica Simpsons documentary show where she travels to different countries and looks at the different cultural definitions of beauty.

This specific one struck out as the complete opposite of what we are told here in America, but still, shines a light that beauty comes in every shape and size.
I thought I would share.

The Price of Beauty

Let me know what you think! :)

Seeking Death I Found Life (Part 3)

2010-08-30T18:02:00.000-07:00

There I was, alone, in this unfamiliar place. All I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and sleep until I was able to go home. I got into bed and rethought my action. If I stay in bed they'll probably keep me here forever I thought. I looked over at my roommate and she just lay there without movement, as if wanting death to absorb her. I walked over to her bed and I began to talk to her. She had been there for a week, just laying in bed, barely went out even to eat. There was such sorrow in her eyes.We talked for a little bit and then I told her that we couldn't just stay in bed.She looked up at me and smiled.

Together we walked out of the room. I felt intimidated as the halls were crowded with people. I was unaware of what I would encounter in this new place or if I would be safe. Lauren, my roommate, and I sat in the living room as we waited to be called for our lunch trays.

The living room had a kitchen, tv, and a table with seats where we could gather around to talk, read, play cards, color, and eat. The whole room filled as everyone sat down to eat, there I got to know the people I would be staying with for the next few days. There I got to hear the famous question, "What are you in here for?" and I got to hear all their stories. Although they were different, so many were the same. My roommate had been sent there because she had tried committing suicide. The majority of them actually had been there for the same reason. What I found interesting was that the people that even the people who heard voices actually had voices tell them that they were not worth anything that they should kill themselves and the method of suicide. I was amazed.

I realized how much the enemy lies to us! Telling us that we are better off dead!

He had no bias on age, gender, or ethnicity.

As I got to know each person, each person was beautiful and complex.

My heart grew for them, my heart ached for them. I wasn't the only one in pain. There was a room full of people, hearts aching to be loved. Slowly, my old self came out again. I desired to serve them. I would find the smallest ways to show them someone cared, whether serving and refilling them their drinks or giving them an ear. Throughout the days I saw all our relationships transform. One guy had come in all angry, by the end of the time we were there, I saw his heart softened. He began to serve these people, getting them water, offering them his chair, his expression had changed. The simple act of seeing someone else serve him had moved him so much he wanted to do the same for others. We started to work together as a group to help one another, in that crazy place, we became family.

There was one kid that would never come out of his room, slowly but surely I began to talk to him. Letting him know that no matter what, I was not there to judge him but to be there for him, who am I to judge anyone?

He would tell me how he often heard voices telling him that people were out to get him , or that he should die, or not to listen to what people were saying. I told him of God's love, prayed for him, and read to him the bible. Through that time he began to ask me and another patient to read him the bible or lend him ours. We all tried helping him to not hide alone in his thoughts but to come out and mingle with the rest, so that the voices could not overtake him. By the end of the week he no longer hid in his room and actually became more talkative with others, smiling more often.

There are so many stories I could tell you from the 4 days I was there, but ultimately they all lead to God's love and restoration.

image link

In the midst of that place I found myself again. I was genuinely smiling and happy, something I hadn't been in a couple years. God showed me what I was supposed to be. That He created me to help others through counseling. I know, you would think? You? Counsel? but you ended up in a Psych Ward??

I know, I honestly don't know why God hasn't given up on me, but I'm so glad He hasn't. And I can't imagine why He would ever want to use me, but I know that He does. Perhaps He sees how weak I am and that when He works through me everyone will know that it was not me, but Him that did it all.

God renewed my love for Him and people that week. God let me see people with different eyes, His eyes. Here were people whom society outcasts, mocks, looks down upon and judges, but God sees them beautiful.

I lived with people who were homeless,people who struggled with bipolar disorder, paranoid schizophrenia, schizophrenia, major depression, drug/alcohol addiction, and other things I may not have been aware of, but those people became family.

I realized it is so easy to judge from the outside when we haven't walked a mile in another persons shoes, but when I listened to their stories, there was no way I could see them in any other way but God's children whom we are called to love.

They all saw something different in me, God's love, and I pray that seed was planted in them. God planted His love in me that week.

God's love and peace and joy was restored in me again.

Although I may still be facing struggles, I know that I am not alone. I know that God is with me and He will not forsake me! I know that God is my Father, my Love, my King, and I am His daughter. I know that my Father created me with a plan in mind and although I had lost hope, my heart is strengthened in His hope.

And through counseling and prayer, God has healed me of my depression. It feels amazing to feel again, to laugh, to just be me. I honestly just want to thank God for never giving up on me and after all my mistakes, being so merciful in healing me.

For any of you who are feeling hopeless, know there is Hope. When you think you'll never see the end, know that God has a purpose. I'm not saying that God wanted me to attempt suicide, that was me taking matters into my own hands, but God will use my mistake for His purpose, as He already has.

Seeking death I found Life. (part 2)

2010-08-17T15:06:00.000-07:00

Hopeless

April 26, 2010 was a Monday morning I will never forget. Overwhelming thoughts took over. All I

saw was problems and only one solution.

I waited until no one was home and drove out to buy sleeping pills at a local grocery store.

I didn't want to feel anymore. I could not bare the pain anymore. I opened the bottle, thoughts racing

all at once. What am I doing? Should I? I took eight, thinking maybe I could just sleep this off. I laid

down but there was no effect. All I tasted was the salt from my tears. I looked down at the bottle,

counted the rest until I had swallowed 19. I got into my comfort, a warm bath and lay there. I don't

remember much other than waking up choking on the water a few times, I tried to get out but I

couldn't, my body was numb and could not feel my legs. I remember being woken up when I was

found and carried to the bed. I thought I remembered everything that occurred but a week later I

realized what I thought and

saw occur that day did not happen, so how long I was passed out for I am not sure.

I remember seeing the rescue in my room and being surprised out how many of them there were. They

began to ask me questions and as I tried to answer, I found myself struggling. My speech had been

affected by the pills. All I could do was mumble. I couldn't even hold myself up. There the regret

began, what had I done?!

I just began to apologize to the paramedics. Here they are having to take care of me when they

probably had bigger things to deal with. Guilt and remorse had settled in. I was taken to a hospital

where the doctors and nurses watched and helped my body become stable again. When I saw my

father

walk into that room my heart sunk! Oh no! How can I even explain this to him? Will he be angry!?

Will he look down on me? He was the last person I wanted to let down.

That day, I saw the most beautiful thing, my father was a reflection of my Heavenly fathers love for me.

Consequences

I was in a daze, but still I was able to understand some of what was going on around me.

The man watching me told me that once my body and heart had stabalized I would have to be Baker

Acted and I would be alone, no family. Not sure if any of you know what being Baker Acted means,

but pretty much they are allowed to keep you in a psych ward under watch until they believe you are

stable and won't attempt to hurt yourself again. I could just remember saying I'm sorry I won't do it

again please do I have to?

All I knew about Psych Wards was what I have seen on TV or movies and that terrified me.

3 am they took me back to a little room. They

took down my information, took my belongings, and since there were no vacant rooms I was taken to

a living room, to sleep on a couch, and left to sleep in darkness, alone. Anyone who knows me knows

I am terrified of the dark. I just began to cry, thinking I just want to go home, regretting everything,

afraid, and praying to God. I needed my heavenly daddy so much at that moment.

Bright and early I was woken up and taken in a living room to wait. I had seen a guy screaming and

having to be held down in a bed with handcuffs. Whenever I needed to go to the restroom I had to

inform someone so they could walk me, the restrooms were flooded with water, and I had to walk in

with socks since we were not allowed to have shoes, everything was just settling in, and deep inside

tears just wanted to overflow. I was alone and afraid.

At around 3 pm my name was called. A room had become vacant. The kind man that had been so

hospitable that day walked me over to the ward and gave me warnings about a few things inside.

Butterflies filled my stomach as I drew near. The halls were crowded with people, I made sure to not

make eye contact and just follow the man that lead me to my room. I walked in, it was dark and creepy,

just how you would imagine it to be. A room that would make anyone even more depressed I thought. I

saw my room mate there just sleeping in her bed. I began to break down and cry and just tell the guy

that I wanted to go home. Thankfully, he was compassionate and gave me comforting words.

Little did I know that in this creepy, scary, unfamiliar place, God would make Himself real to me

again...

Psalm 56:13 "For you have delivered me from death
       and my feet from stumbling,
       that I may walk before God
       in the light of life."

Seeking death I found Life. (part 1)

2010-08-16T06:01:00.000-07:00

Hello lovelies!

I know it's been forever since I've posted but I hope the next few posts well help you understand.

Throughout my blogging I've made myself vulnerable to you all and allowed you to see my
weaknesses and I've expressed my struggles.

I have learned that admitting my weaknesses allows God to work through me.

Most of you know the past few years have been quite trying and that I had sunken into a state of depression.

As well in an earlier post I explained how a major part of my opening up is to give someone hope one day through my story, my trials, and the overcoming through God's Grace, Love, and Mercy.

Today is the day that chapter begins.

I will give warning though, I may be looked down upon or judged for what I'm about to write, but that is completely fine and worth it.

I know that there is a purpose in everything and our mistakes can be used by God to glorify Him and for a greater purpose then I can even begin to understand.

So this story, is for that person out there struggling, who finds themselves no longer wanting to live, hopeless, defeated.

I pray my story can help you. I pray that my experience may even save or change a life.

Suffocated

Have you ever felt like the world was slowly swallowing you whole. All you saw was darkness completely surrounding, knowing that you have to move forward but afraid that any step you take can be a black hole that leaves you falling endlessly?

Have you ever felt that unbearable weight of confusion, depression, and fear that feels like a plague that is eating away at you little by little until there is nothing left?

This was me. Each day was a struggle to get up. I'd find myself trying to fight back tears, loneliness, confusion of where the person I once was, happy and outgoing.

The hardest part was not knowing how to get myself back and feeling like a complete outcast in my own skin.

Not only did I hate the person I was inwardly but I battled constantly having to face the person I was outwardly as well. There would be times I would just cry because I felt too ugly to be out or that I wasn't good enough. I would bathe in the dark because I didn't even want to see myself and that was a way I'd not have to see myself and not cry.

Top depression with full time school and full time work, I was exhausted.

I felt as though God had forgotten about me. Perhaps that I had pushed Him too far away and He couldn't hear me. Why would He want to I thought to myself, I felt worthless.(By the way, God never forgets about us, He's always there, I see that in hindsight).

Things had become increasingly difficult. Anything that could go wrong would go wrong and I wasn't strong enough at the time to handle it all.

I've always been used to being strong enough for others. Anytime someone needed me, I was there, to listen, to comfort, all of a sudden I felt so weak. I saw everything I was going through and battling with internally as something I couldn't escape and didn't want to affect anyone with my depression anymore. What good am I if I can't be strong for anyone, if all I am is a burden I thought.

That was it. I couldn't do this anymore. I was worthless anyways what would it matter?

People would be happier without me.

Oh how the enemy loves to creep into the mind. I was weak and agreed.

April 26, 2010 was the day that changed the rest of my life...

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world" (1 Peter 5:8-9).

Life without Limbs

2010-06-04T14:33:00.000-07:00

I found myself sitting in front of the screen, watching some sports channel, when all of a sudden there was this guy with no limbs, playing football, wrestling, and being the best at everything he did. Here was a guy who had everything going against him, but he overcame every obstacle. No matter how many times he fell and failed, he continued to get back up. His life encourages me to do the same. Every word that came out of his mouth were words of encouragement, words that breathed life, words that made me want to be better. I don't even know how to put him into words for you but I couldn't help but share his story with you.
Any of you who are feeling depressed or angry at God or feel as though there is no reason to live anymore, please, please, just watch this video. You will leave changed, just by listening to him for a few minutes. Share Nick Vujicic story with anyone and everyone. Everyone needs some encouragement and his life is definitely that!

Nick Vujicic video

SORRY I tried to embed the video but that didn't work out so well!

check out other videos as well as his website. www.lifewithoutlimbs.com

hope you guys enjoy him and leave just as encouraged!

<3 Lex

o0o0 P.S. Another good video I think all kids/people should see :)
with our words we can kill or give life

Mario Kart Love Song [video]

2010-05-18T06:21:00.000-07:00

This is the absolute sweetest for any Mario Kart lover and hopeless romantic!
Can't get enough of it!

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and if that doesn't exactly come out click here
Hope you enjoy!:)

<3 Lex

Looking at life a little differently

2010-05-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

Looking at life a little differently can be quite a challenge when all we've seen is all we've known.
Perhaps this sentence doesn't even fit with the sentences that will follow but I continue.
I first apologize for not responding to any comments/emails/ or posting comments in the past few weeks. I have been away from the internet world. I have been in and out of hospitals/dr.s visits, I won't go into details though.

What I have learned is that we only have one shot. Only one life to live. What matters most are the people we have surrounding us at that time. Supporting and encouraging. Pursuing are passion, cause you know what, so what if we try something and then suck at it?! At least we tried!! I haven't been living so afraid of everything. Afraid of failing that I've failed at life, but there aren't many second chances at this thing.

So go after what you want to do. And remember that your family is there for you no matter what.
I honestly have learned to appreciate them so much these past two weeks and seen their unconditional love and support for me. I don't know what I would do without them.

Somewhere along these two weeks I've found who I am again. Not entirely, but I see the beginning processes unraveling.
As well, I've learned to see people differently.
For the better. That's for another post though.

Just wanted to keep all you lovely ladies posted! I really miss you all and will hopefully be getting back into the groove of things soon.

I hope you're all doing well!

Just a little Venting.

2010-04-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just sat there, the only sound around is the beat the clock makes while it ticks. Your body, frozen still, while your mind is running 1,000 miles per hour, yet everything's a blur.
The only thing you feel are the warm tears that run down your face.
The overwhelming weight of your heart has you plastered to where you lay.
And you start to ask yourself, how did I get here?
How did I become this way?

God can you hear me? Are you watching me anymore? Have I pushed you too far?

I know I've been so angry with You and just shut You out.
It's just this is all too overwhelming and I've grown hopeless.
But I can't make it through this without You. Can you still hear me?

then to get up and go to work, hoping you could make it through the day without crying and making a scene.

Have you ever felt your heart grow hard? Barricaded by the walls built around it?
Only left confused on how to tear them down? They're so strong and heavy, you try to remove one brick at a time, and all of a sudden an intimidating factor appears and that one brick that was taken off has been placed back and stacked three rows higher.

There gets to a point you almost begin to feel not human. Numb. and yet there is still pain.
I don't really know. There's so much confusion and pain inside that I can't even begin to verbally express the surface of it all. but somehow it almost feels like your dead inside.

The people you once felt so comfortable with are just a constant reminder of how you've changed. The awkwardness settles as your in a room filled with people, laughing, joking, and you long so much to just feel that for a moment, and partake in the joy but instead your silent, alone, and just more aware of how different you've become and wondering if you'll ever be that way again.

Maybe you've noticed that I haven't said I to any of this, rather you, I think for one I'm wondering if I'm alone here, and second, to express this under I, scares me. I don't know, it's written all the same, but to claim and confess all of this, just scares me.

I've just grown so weary of it all and at the end of the day, I just feel completely foolish.

Well I guess that's enough venting for today.

I wish I could be here doing this right now.

For the Love of Music: Vedera

2010-04-16T13:03:00.000-07:00

I guess it's all about the music today!

Do yourself a favor ladies and check them out!! Her voice is frikkin' amazing!

you can visit there site here <-

and I couldn't find the songs I really like to show you but go to www.grooveshark.com and type out Vedera and then look for the songs Redemption and Moments Rewound!

Let me know what you think :) I hope you like it just as much as I do!

For the Love of Music

2010-04-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love about music is the instant connection there is between one's heart and the words. All the words locked up I cannot put to words someone else has been able to so perfectly put together, and all of a sudden, it feels as though someone else shares my heart, my hurts, my pains, my joys, my quirkiness, my anger, my fear, my craziness. You name it, someone else has written about it. And all of a sudden, there's a bond that is made with that artist. Although you've never met, when you sing along to the words there is some special connection, the artist has no idea they've made but all of a sudden you see them differently.

So many songs have touched me but my latest obsession is Alison Sudol from A Fine Frenzy!

I've loved her since I first heard of her and each of her songs touches at least one part of my heart. A few years back that connection was Almost Lover, so much I did the cover of it I showed you guys in this post. Lately the song I seem to keep on repeat is The Beacon.
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For some reason, I relate to the person she's talking about and it's the whole role the two play in each others love. The care and love she feels for that person. While the person doesn't feel good enough. I don't know but that song just puts me in that place every time.

I'm actually trying to learn it to do a cover :)
I can't find instrumentals anywhere nor piano tutorials, so I'm going to try and learn it on guitar.

So I guess that's the song for my mellow mood.

but my gosh her other songs!! I love blow away, there's something so playful about her upbeat songs. I've always lived in this imaginary world and when I express things usually it's exaplained in these weird visuals and sometimes listening to her songs makes me feel like I'm not alone in that, in all actuality I see the beauty in it.

ok so now I'm babbling, all about one person! but you see it's not just her music I like.
I love the fact she's modest! Her style is absolutely adorable without revealing anything. Her face is that of sincerity and when she smiles it's like everything's okay. I know it sounds a tad lame me saying that but it's like the pureness of a child's smile.

Ps. I totally wish I had those dimples!

Ok so I'm slightly obsessed but how can I not be? Looking at her reminds me of that childlike happiness and imagination that I miss so much.

She may have no idea but there's a strong connection to her music that has been as if her very arms have embraced my heart.

I'm sure you've all heard of her, if you haven't check her out.

I just wanted to share my latest obsession/connection.

Hope you're all doing wonderful!!
<3Lex

Paola loves to shop Giveaway Winners!

2010-04-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hello lovelies!! Thank you for all who participated in Paola Loves to Shop's Giveaway..

So now we proudly present..... THE WINNER!!!!

drum rolls please................

Olivia from S&O Productions!!

Congrats hun you totally deserve all those precious goodies!

but wait folks that's not all! Paola is super awesome and decided to throw in a bonus for 7 lucky people!!!

and they are:

Chloe

Bebe Bird Beck

Laura

Steffisworld

Callie

Catherine Barton

Biscuit

Congratulations to all you lovely ladies!!! Now head on over to Paola Loves to shop and send her an email with your addresses to receive all your goodies!

Happy Mail and a Pooptastical Happening!

2010-04-13T15:46:00.000-07:00

So I'm the type of person that prefers to hear the bad news first and end on the good news, so that's how this post will go as well.

So this morning when I get to work and as I'm sitting in my desk, I smell this horrid smell, I continued to smell around and I think to myself, is that poop? Could someone have left a dirty diaper somewhere laying around? I asked my husband to sit at my desk and see if he could smell it to, it could be me just going crazy, smelling something thats not there. But he smelled it to. ok so I'm not crazy, now what the heck is it and where is it? Around 9:30am we have our staff meeting so I just figured I'd attend to it later.

An hour into that meeting I smell the poop again. Oh no! Did I touch something with it that now it's on me?! This smell is haunting me. Mind you I was not feeling well this morning. I felt a tad nauseous so this smell did not help.

I go back to my desk and all of a sudden there is that smell again. At this point I thought, let me check the bottom of my sandals. At this point my sandals are tucked underneath me. I lift my skirt to see, and there it is! The culprit! The poop that had attached itself to me! I had been walking around with dog poop on my shoe all day long! Not only was it on my sandal, but now it was on my brown skirt that had just been nicely washed before.

Normally, that may have gotten me a tad annoyed. grrr....but this time I just had to laugh.

Ok...so on to GOOD NEWS!!

Jamie from Inspired Mess had a giveaway and I was one of the Mini-Giveaway winners! YIPPEE!!!
And omg! I opened my mailbox today grabbed the package ripped it open and found my sweet ol' goodies that just made me SMILE!

Look at all her sweetness!! Thank you Jamie! You're the best!! I absolutely adore you!

Thank you for all of this wonderfulness!! You made my poopy day all better!!!!!! :)

You all should go visit her page if you haven't, which I'm sure you've all been there, but just in case! ^_^

A Frikkin' Sweet Giveaway!

2010-04-10T11:00:00.000-07:00

Hello ladies!! I know we all love giveaways!! This is a collabo giveaway with the lovely Paola from Paola loves to shop :)

You'll be winning a few of the items from her shop.http://paolalovestoshop.bigcartel.com/

Okay so what do you gotta do to get one of these beauts?

Good question.

Rules:

1. You must be a follower of Paola Loves To Shop's Blog

2.Become a fan of her facebook

3. You may or may not follow my blog, that parts not the most important.

4. Make sure to leave a comment after you've done all the above :)

5th option: Tweet about the giveaway!

I'm so excited for this giveaway! I hope you are too!!!

<3Lex

Ps. the giveaway ends this Tuesday!

New hair every day.

2010-04-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just get sudden urges? This morning I woke up thinking about teacup chihuahuas and now I've found myself just wanting wigs!! Oh the fun of changing up one's hair according to your mood without the damaging consequences to one's hair! Here are some I wish I had.

I love this color and think it would be so much fun to dress up in! :) but I'd never be bold enough to transform my whole head into this shade!

Because I've always wanted blue hair.

Because I love UBER long hair and curls!!

Because I would love to try this FIRE red!

because the length excites me, I've always wanted know what I'd look like blonde and because I've always wanted hair like the girl from Tristan and Isolde!!

I could go on..but really I must stop!!

but but I want them sooo much!! /tear

Korean girl playing/singing on iphone (video)MUST WATCH

2010-03-28T19:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I ran into this video on youtube and the first minute I was like what the heck? Did I just get rick rolled??? but if you fast forward to 1:29 you'll see her start. What she does is she plays and records the music on the iphone...then she plays that while she plays another part and sings..it's ridiculous..but Beyonce has some competition cause this girls voice is amazing!!
if the embedding doesn't work...click here

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I just couldn't not share it with you guys! I hope you guys like it as much as I do!!
:)

Andddd I hope you guys had a great weekend!! :)

<3 Lex

Presenting a Lovely Artist! (picture heavy)

2010-03-26T19:04:00.000-07:00

As soon as I ran into this talented ladies artwork I knew I couldn't just keep her to myself! There is just too much talent not to share!
I hope you all will enjoy her as much as I have. Make sure to check out her youtube, she has several more videos!

My name is Nicole Gerardo, I am 21 years old and I live in Southern California. I'm currently attending a community college, but I plan on applying to a few art school's within the next few months. I've always been really into drawing and art. When I was little that was my favorite thing to do! When I was 11, after I decided I SUCK at soccer and ballet my parents said I have to do extracurricular activities so I said I want to paint and my mom signed me up for an awesome drawing/painting class. In 2008, I went on 'Semester at Sea' where I took my first 'real' drawing class. When I was on 'Semester at Sea' my best friend/roommate & I would get so bored in the cabin when we were traveling from country to country, I decided one day to try to draw a celebrity from a magazine and make it look EXACTLY like the photo. That's when I started drawing celebrities faces. The more I did it the better I got and I keep finding new techniques that make it look even more real. I'm still a beginner!

1. When did you start drawing?

I started when I was a a little kid coloring in Disney Princess coloring books!

2. Did you go to school for it or did you learn on your own?

I have taken a few classes but the majority of what I know I taught myself.

3. Do you mainly do portraits or are there other things you like to draw as well?

I mainly do portraits because I think people's faces are so beautiful & interesting! I'm in a Life Drawing class where we draw nude models and I'm starting to love drawing the body. In my painting class we are going to start landscapes next and I'm excited for that. I love anything creative, fashion design, interior design, architecture, photography, cooking/baking, hair/makeup...you name it!!

4. If so, what else do you enjoy drawing?

I would LOVE to be able to draw cartoons. Like the Disney movies. I always try but they never turn out how I want them to! I like drawing nature and animals too.

5. Is drawing something you have to be in the mood for or are you always in the mood?

Sometimes drawing is the LAST thing I want to be doing. Sometimes it just takes something outside or on TV or online to inspire me to draw!

6. What do you plan on doing with your art?

I have no idea! I am hoping if I get into art school they can help me out with that! In the end if I don't go to art school and have a career in art, it's a fun hobby and I'd love to be able to decorate my house with my own artwork!

7. What advice would you give to someone who would want to get into drawing?

Do it! Just draw whatever comes to your imagination. If you get stuck drawing a nose or a mouth KEEP DOING IT. Take a class! My dog could draw better than some of the people in my classes right now. Even in college there are people just taking it for fun. Art teachers love those people! If YOU love what you draw that's all that matters. Don't give up just because one person doesn't think you're AMAZING! There is a woman in my painting class that was sitting next to me and she just had NO idea what she was doing and she kept messing up and starting over and getting frustrated and in the end I actually really liked her painting because it didn't look like anyone else's. It was so WEIRD! I loved it! It was supposed to be realistic but it looked like a Modigliani painting.

8. What is the hardest part about what you do?

I am very impatient. It takes a lot of patience to draw and especially paint.

9. What is your favorite piece you've done?

Hmm... I really like how my Audrey Hepburn drawing turned out. But I have tons of drawings from when I was little that are so imaginative it amazes me! I love how kids think!

Nicole painted this one above and the one under when she was 10 years old!!

You guys have to watch how she draws Audrey Hepburn!

If you guys want to check out more of her stuff and about her (which honestly she is such a sweetheart and super cool ) go check out her blog: http://delightfullyscrumptious.blogspot.com/

follow her on twitter: ciaorochelle
and check out her youtube videos: Nicole's youtube channel

She has soooo much more stuff I wish I could have put everything on here! It was so hard to choose!

Nicole,
Thank you so much for letting us into your world for just a moment! You are sooooo incredibly talented!!

<3Lex

100 Random Facts! You're tagged!

2010-03-25T08:48:00.000-07:00

Hi guys, I know what's up with all these tags!?

I told Xanabiotic I'd do this post forever ago and I still hadn't gotten around to it.
So here ya go, 100 facts! You guys should go check her out she is absolutely amazing! And sooo much to say!

100 random facts about myself.

1. I can burp the alphabet.

2. I’ve tame deer.

3. I raised chickens.

4. Sometimes I wake up Alex in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom with me because I’m too scared of the dark.

5. Sometimes when I’m alone, I’m scared of keeping my eyes closed for too long (washing hair or washing face) because I’m scared that when I open them there will be something there.

6. I love the 50’s.

7. I wish I were born in the 50’s.

8. I secretly wish mermaids and unicorns were real.

9. I wish I were a real life mermaid.

10. I’m a sucker for chamomile tea

11. And mm…the taste of mint tea

12. Or maybe just any tea J

13. I sometimes stare at something on a wall or pattern until I can see a design of something familiar. (kinda like cloud watching)

14. I absolutely love stars, I haven’t spent much time with them lately, but I used to be able to just stand there completely mesmerized and trying to find constellations.

15. My favorite place to be when I’m down is in front of water, sitting on the grass, and just taking in the peace of God’s beautiful creation. It soothes me.

16. When I have kids I definitely want to be a housewife and raise them myself.

17. I can’t pronounce the letter H when a U follows it. So the words Huge, Humongous, Human, all sound like-UGE-UMONGOUS-UMAN.

18. I want a pet skunk.

19. I once had a dream with talking cows and a purple monkey with a little boy face, and my house that floated across the ocean…..I was on heavy medication when I was sick

20. I love to dream.

21. I used to play the Mario levels with the feather flying so that I could dream about flying at night.

22. I learned to figure out reoccurring dreams and beat the bad guys better and easier each time.

23. I love cream cheese.

24 I’m scared of flying in little planes.

25. But I’m not scared of flying in a helicopter with no door.

26. I’m terrified of heights, even normal ladders.

27. But I learned to climb the scaffolding for a castle in Austria and I would take naps at the top.

28. I like to jump on the elevator when I’m getting to the top floor for that extra air time.

29. I like to write songs in the shower

30. But then I forget the words once I'm out :|

31 I secretly wish to ride a horse bareback in a long beautiful flowy dress with my hair down.

32. I hate the sight of cauliflower! All those sex-ed classes scarred me for life! It reminds me of Chlamydia! I just can’t bring myself to eat it.

33. I love the smell of a campfire. It’s my favorite smell in the world.

34. I love sugarcane; it reminds me of my abuelo!

35. Somewhere along the line I missed a few girl genes and was given boy ones because I can’t seem to curl my hair for the life of me.

36. But I can carry heavy things better then a lot of guys.

37. I can carry my hubby on my back :)

38. I like to be carried.

39. Especially in water, I latch on. ^_^

40. I still think I’m a little kid in a grown up body.

41. I love little kids & animals.

42. I love Thai donuts

43. And Mexican food

44. And Indian food

45. And food in general

46. Except for fish

47. Unless it’s fresh fish like from the Bahamas..then mmMmMm…I’m all over it.

48. I’m a homebody.

49. I love cartoons.

50. I think movies now a days have to much garbage for no reason.

51. I’m scared of what my future kids will have to see and deal with.

52. The closer it gets to having a kid, the more terrified I am of the idea

53. Because of the great responsibility of another human life.

54. I’ve gotten in way too many accidents.

55. That I learned to not care about the dents in the car.

56. What truly matters is that everyone is okay. Once I realize that, my sister and I just break down laughing or making friends with the other people.

57. My sis and I had to push the car of the guy that ran into us because he was a lazy jerk who didn’t listen to the cop who told him to move it, so us two young girls did it.

58. I love surprises.

59. I’m a hopeless romantic.

60. But I’ve lost my creative touch.

61. I struggle a lot with self-image.

62. I never had an imaginary friend.

63. I’d only make one up at the theatre so a stranger wouldn’t sit next to me at the theatre.

64. Sometimes I think of an unreal world to escape reality.

65. Other times I just jump on wow for the same effect.

66. I have a God who loves me, although I have no idea why He would, I’m glad He does.

67. Sometimes I struggle with the idea that I’m not good enough for God and that maybe He just doesn’t want me anymore. But then God comes and shows me otherwise.

68. I have a beauty mark in the shape of a heart. It’s my favorite.

69. I love Mexican candy!

70. My favorite place in the world is mountains!

71. I put way to many unrealistic goals and pressure on myself.

72. I don’t know what I look like anymore. I’ve lost all complete sense.

73. I’m trying to see myself in a more healthy light and except myself, imperfections and all.

74. My heart breaks for the hurting and I just want to let them know that someone cares and loves them, and is there.

75. I’m clumsy. I constantly drop or spill something.

76. I’m better at expressing myself in written form than verbally.

77. I doodle all over my papers, but most of my doodles are eyes. >_>

78. I once painted my mothers fancy white couch where no one was allowed to sit, with all the crayons of the crayon box.

79. When I was younger I used to dream of being a singer.

80. I don’t know if I have any dreams anymore and that makes me sad.

81. I wish I enjoyed working out

82. And eating healthy food.

83. I used to cut because I could handle the physical pain but I couldn’t handle the emotional pain and somehow the physical numbed the emotional. :\

84. Luckily God has given me the strength to stop and I'm cutfree.

85. I suck at drinking water. I’m supposed to be having 8 cups a day, I’m lucky if I drink one :\

86. After watching Mary Poppins I used to look at paintings and pretend what it was like if I lived in that painting.

87. I used to want to be a scientist and asked my mom for a microscope for Christmas.

88. I also had a huge obsession with the Presidents of the US. And I would read up on their biography, and I would dream of being the 1^st woman president.

89. I no longer wish or desire to be a President.

90. I think I care too much. So much that certain pains from people I love the most are the hardest ones to shake off, even though I wish I could.

91. I care too much about what my family thinks about me. Sometimes I think it’s a tad unhealthy.

92. I wish I had that syndrome from the girl in 50 first dates

93. I used to want to be like the girls in the movies.

94. I love sales!

95. I’ve banned magazines because it just gives me too much opportunity to compare myself and hate myself.

96. I’m a wall builder.

97. I love smelly markers with different scents.

98. I love to blow out candles.

99. I’m scared of lighting candles with a lighter or match, I prefer the long clicky thing where my finger is no where near the fire.

100. But I’ll run my finger through the fire once the candle is lit

20 Questions Tag Video :)

2010-03-25T06:30:00.000-07:00

Here are the questions if you're interested to do the tag, whether by video or written :)

1. Thing you cannot leave the house without?
2. Favorite brand of makeup?
3. Favorite flower?
4. Favorite clothing store?
5. Favorite perfume ?
6. Heels or flats?
7. Do you make good grades?
8. Favorite colors?
9. Do you drink energy drinks?
10. Do you drink juice?
11. Do you like swimming?
12. Do you eat fries with a fork?
13. Favorite moisturizer?
14. Do you want to get married later on in life?
15. Do you get mad easily?
16. Are you into ghost hunting?
17. Any phobias?
18. Do you bite your nails?
19. Have you ever had a near death experience?
20. Do you drink coffee?

hope you enjoy and can't wait to see yours! <3

A Young Heart with Inspiring Words

2010-03-23T13:57:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful ladies!

So I'm thinking of starting something a little different. Every once in a while I'm going to have a guest write about different experiences and how they've dealt with it. We all face a lot of struggles in our lifetimes, it takes no bias on age, gender, or race. I'm going to be asking a few people to share their stories as a way of motivation for us all. If you are interested in being a part of this feel free to email me so we can work something out. Email: cupcakesniper@gmail.com

Today's guest is young but there is so much to learn from this beautiful girl who is not only beautiful on the outside but so incredibly beautiful on the inside and I am so lucky to call her my friend. I hope you all can take something from this story and feel free to comment, she will be reading your responses and I'm sure you all can offer some encouragement as well :)

A Young Heart With Inspiring Words

Hi, I'm Talitha. I'm twelve years old and something that has happend to me was I got depressed over something that happend in my own life but one of the things that I was feeling was alone but what I did was I stayed in my bible and I did not stop praying and that is the best thing you can ever do and out of that i found out that I'm never alone and the Lord is always with me and you to!
And the Lord will never do anything bad to you with out a reason because he loves you and he has a plan for you and it is an awesome one to!
I don't know what else to tell you but the Lord loves you and if your not praying and staying in your bible you really need to I'm saying this not to judge you but to help you cause I know it's hard but the Lord is the best person to help you.
The verse that has helped me throughout this time is Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

_________________________________<3_____________<3________________________________

I don't know about you all but I know I have a lot to learn from this amazing 12 year old! I hope her post was able to help inspire and bring some comfort to a hurting heart.

<3 ya guys!
Lex

To Write Love On Her Arms

2010-03-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

You know I've always heard about TWLOHA and I've seen the t-shirts and for some reason I thought it was a popular band or something. That was until I saw today what it really was. I saw Miley Cyrus (yes, so what?) had a video talking about supporting them and their suicide prevention program.
I decided to check it out and that's when I got to hear the story of Renee, the girl in whom this program had originated with. I was watching some of the videos and couldn't help but just be completely moved by her story and was able to relate in some areas. At the same time there was a heaviness in my heart. Oftentimes I've just heard so many people look down and make fun of "cutters" and people dealing with these situations, and yet they wear the shirts as some sort of fashion statement.

I just want to encourage anyone who has, don't just wear the shirt as a fad, but do what it says! There is a purpose behind those shirts, to remind us of loving those in pain. Don't look down cause you've never been there, stand beside them, encourage, and love on them. You can make a difference in a person's life, on whether they'll want to make it or not.

If you're interested in her book its titled "Purpose for the Pain".

Encouragement in Trials

2010-03-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

I was reading these few verses and just found incredible comfort in them. Not only comfort, but a deeper understanding of the reasons we're allowed to suffer and how we should count it a joy, although, that is something really hard to do without understanding these verses.
I wanted to share it with all you beautiful ladies who may be struggling at the
moment with whatever trial has come your way. I pray you may find some
encouragement as well.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.- 2 Corinthians 12:10

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. -James 1:2-3

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:6-7.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
       Why so disturbed within me?
       Put your hope in God,
       for I will yet praise him,
       my Savior and my God.
       My soul is downcast within me;
       therefore I will remember you
       from the land of the Jordan,
       the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
                                                      -Psalm 42:5-6

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
-Romans 5:3-5

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.    -2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Sometimes it's brought on us because of our sins and like any loving parent, God disciplines us so that way may become better.

And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
   "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
      and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
      and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
                                                 -Hebrews 12:5-6

"If his sons forsake my law
       and do not follow my statutes,
if they violate my decrees
       and fail to keep my commands,
I will punish their sin with the rod,
       their iniquity with flogging;
but I will not take my love from him,
       nor will I ever betray my faithfulness.
I will not violate my covenant
       or alter what my lips have uttered.- Psalms 89:30-34

Sometimes, he allows us to suffer so we may learn to depend on Him & lean on His strength, not our own.

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. -2 Corinthians 1:8-9

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
                              -2 Corinthians 12:9

Apostle Paul mentions one of his sufferings and he understood the purpose for it, so that he would not be prideful.

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.
                                    -2 Corinthians 12:7

Such a simple verse, but if we really did this, I think the outcome would grand! A God given recipe for life.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."-Romans 12:12

God will use our suffering to bring others to Him. We should actually be joyful that He would even consider using us, although it may not be fun at the moment, there is a greater purpose for it then we can understand, and Paul knew just that.

Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ.   -Philippians 1:12-13

Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.-Philippians 1:14

^ (Paul had been put in prison and he saw this is God's purpose, not to harm Paul, but to bring people to Life.)

I hope this brought some understanding and comfort to all of you that our hurting at the moment!
Let me know if there is anything I can pray for you for!

<3 Lex

Beauty (video included)

2010-03-12T08:26:00.000-08:00

What is it that makes us feel or not feel beautiful? Why do we compare ourselves?

The other day I was at CVS getting my hubby's gift bag and card, when all of a sudden I heard two girls behind me, probably the ages of 11 & 13/14? roughly. They were looking at the magazines that are often stocked at the counter and I just heard them looking through saying she's pretty, she's pretty, she's pretty. Oh how I remember doing that with my sister. Going through the magazines and seeing all the beautiful ladies. Suddenly, when it was my turn to pay, I hear the girls just comparing themselves to these women who have their makeup all done, hair all done, airbrushed, tall and thin, who had hours spent on making them look unattainable, and these girls felt they didn't measure up. Talking about how those were the women they had to compete with.

Girls you're 11 & 13!! WHY do you have to struggle with not feeling beautiful enough at such an early age? My heart broke for them, because I know that feeling all too well.

I turned to them both and told them, you girls are way prettier than any of those girls in those magazines. All of a sudden, they're faces looked up with a bright smile, faces shining. It's so important to tell the young girls in our lives how beautiful they are. How the "beauty" the world is telling us to attain isn't real beauty. We get so caught up in trying to attain this beauty, that we forget about the important things in life. I'm speaking from experience.

I remember being bigger..like 176 lbs, and yet, I had this joy. Although I've never felt like I was "beautiful" I felt okay with myself. Because I was happy with who I was. Someone told me how important it is to be "beautiful" because guys look for "beauty"and although my personality was beautiful, it wasn't enough if I ever wanted a guy to marry me. I'm putting these words very nicely from how they were said, but that day they pierced my spirit.
I know the person's intentions were for my own good and I think that's the way they're motivated, so they tried motivating me in that manner, but it did the complete opposite. I lost something that day I haven't been able to get back.

That weekend I didn't want to go out. I felt too ugly to be out in public. Then I started working out and dieting and lost all this weight. I had gotten down to 120, but that 176lb girl was still haunting me. People were telling me to stop losing but I couldn't see it. All I saw was this ugly girl who couldn't measure up. She couldn't measure up to the tall thin beautiful toned girls in the magazine or on tv. I still struggle with it sooo much!

Christmas Eve this year we were supposed to go to my husbands families house, inbetween his work, instead, I was on the floor crying in my closet looking at the clothes hanging there, telling me, you're too fat to fit in me, you're ugly, comon you won't look good no matter what you wear! This is a day you're supposed to be all dressed up and pretty! Everyone's going to see how ugly and fat you've gotten. I know it sounds soo silly, but for anyone who's been there, you know how real it feels at that moment. Everyone else around will just look at you as a retard, don't know if that's the word.

It's funny, cause a friend of mine is doing this GREAT group for young girls on seeing themselves in a healthy way and she asked me to be one of the guest speakers one day. I feel so fake doing it. How can I tell these girls to see themselves in a way I fail yet to do. I struggle with this everyday, and I'm still not healed, I still cry in front of the mirror and actually hate looking! Hopefully somehow I'll be able to help encourage them in a better way to not fall into the path that I have.

I hate the fact that because of all of those words, I placed such an importance on how I look, on trying to be beautiful, I lost that inner beauty, that inner joy.

This is just one of the broken pieces that need to be mended.

Why do I say all this? Because I want you all to know how important it is to tell the girls around you how beautiful they are! The world is telling them how pretty they're not! That they'll never attain beauty, but you can be the voice to tell them otherwise. Show them what true beauty is. Show them how important it is to be beautiful on the inside!! That it's where beauty truly counts!

You are all sooo beautiful!! In and out!

My Hair is on Fire!

2010-03-07T07:27:00.000-08:00

Hello ladies! Remember that Giselle color I wanted?
Well...I didn't exactly get that but, I actually love the color I have.
I would have never been so bold to try it and I'm glad that I was forced into it.
It was a process that took over 8 hours!

The Outcome

The Process:

o0o0 dead sexy...it's okay laugh.

Thank you Jenn & Laila and everyone else who worked on this project!

I really like this bolder color :) And they say it'll wash off into Giselle's so best of both worlds!

Watcha think?

For anyone who knows E.D.

2010-03-05T06:30:00.000-08:00

I highly recommend anyone who struggles with self-image or an eating disorder, or knows someone who does to just watch this video.

There is a site called iamsecond which my husband showed me yesterday with just amazing stories of people's lives whom have hit rock bottom but have been able to overcome. There's one with the guy from Korn, one with Jason Castro (the dreadlocks guy that had been on american idol a few years back). I recommend you all after watching this to go to www.iamsecond.com and watch as many as you can. Simply moving. if not youtube iamsecond and they have a channel there as well. Whichever is easiest for you.

Enjoy.

actually I'll put the Korn guy here for you. but go check out the other vids!

<3Lex

Just a little something.

2010-03-02T12:40:00.000-08:00

Hello lovely ladies!!

I'm sorry I haven't written much. First I've been uber loaded with schoolwork. Second, I haven't had much to say. I've just been dealing with a lot internally. Anything I had to say right now would probably just sound dramatic or negative, so I'll just leave you with a post of cute pictures. I would like to ask for your prayers though, I definitely need them right now. Thanks girls :)

1. Something I need to remind myself.

2. Something I hope I can say someday.

3. Something I would want.

4. Something I watch that makes me happy.

5. Something that makes me feel warm.

6. Something pretty that I desire.

7. Something I wish I could eat right now.

Well I think this is enough for now. What are your somethings?

Hair change?

2010-02-25T07:06:00.000-08:00

There comes a point in every girls life, in mine more often than not, that you need a change. It's like an itch. Perhaps it's part of trying to feel pretty or different.

Well, I was watching Enchanted the other day and noticed I really like her hair color.

and I pretty much want it :)

But.....

I'm not really sure how it would look on me so I needed some outside perspective.

Should I go for it or look for a different color??

I thank you ahead of time for your help!

<3Lex

Giveaway Winner Announcement!

2010-02-23T11:59:00.000-08:00

Hello All!

Thank you all for your support. The giveaway winner for the Random Acts of Kindness Contest is...

Thank you for all of you who entered the giveaway! I love what you all did! I hope we'll all continue to bless other people throughout the day!!

and make sure to go over to the winner's site and congratulate her as well as my collaboration partner ;)

Have a wonderful day!!
<3Lex

Character amidst the trials.

2010-02-19T09:00:00.000-08:00

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These past few days I've found myself thinking quite a bit about character, trials, and perseverence.

CAUTION:

Just bear with me with what I'm about to write, not sure how smoothly it'll come out or how many rabbit trails I may run into, but I promise, there is a point, and if you hang in there with me, you'll see :)

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WRITTEN THOUGHTS:

I think it's safe to say we've all been through hard times. I think especially lately, we are seeing more and more broken hearts, maybe we're just learning to be honest, or maybe pain really has increased.Whatever the case may be, the matter of the fact is that pain is real.

I was reading the story about a man named Joseph and as I read I reflected back on my own life, my own trials, how I've handled the situations, and where I have failed to have character amidst them.

How I've handled my trials (the way not to):

Throughout my suffering I have complained, been bitter, unforgiving, angry, hopeless, helpless, selfish.
All of a sudden, the whole world had become about my suffering. Everything changed because of it. My love for people changed into isolation, my heart grew hard, I lacked patience. Often times I just wanted to give up! I didn't want to live anymore or be here on earth. I felt like there was no point in living.

Why am I saying this? Because I've realized, I've gotten it all wrong.

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An example of getting it right?

Joseph. Joseph was the youngest of 12 brothers, born to Jacob, also known as Israel. Joseph was Israel's favorite son and obviously, that made the other brothers jealous of him. At a young age, God had given Joseph a dream where all his brothers would bow before him. He decided to tell his brothers his dream. I don't think that was a smart move, and perhaps it showed a bit of arrogance on his part.

Anyways, his brothers were out in the field one day and his dad asked Joseph to go attend and see, when his brothers saw him walking over they had so much hatred in their heart for him they wanted to murder him. Instead he was sold into slavery.

Picture with me, 11 other brothers, ganging up on you, filled with hatred for you, throw you in a ditch, and after sell you as a slave. What would you feel at that very moment?? As I write the story I ask you to put yourself in Joseph's shoes and try to imagine what he must have been feeling. Would you have felt unloved, hopeless, fearful? I would have.

I heard someone say, ""The humility of being a slave tempers Joseph." I never thought about it. But perhaps Joseph was a little prideful in his youth and before God could do anything with him there were a few changes that needed to be made. So this horrible situation was just part of God's bigger plan.

After, Joseph was sold as a slave to the Pharaoh's official, Potipher. What character Joseph must have had. From being his fathers favorite, to becoming a slave, Joseph was not a man that focused on the negative. Instead everything he did, God blessed. Potipher saw this and put Joseph in charge of all his household and did not have to worry about anything.

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Okay so it looks like things are getting better right? Do you ever feel when things are going good something always comes to mess it up??

Well, Potiphers wife started to fancy Joseph and started coming onto him day after day asking Joseph to sleep with her. She must have been beautiful because all of the people of importance had beautiful women. Day after day Joseph refused. ""With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. ⁹ No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" ¹⁰ And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her." (Genesis 39:8-10). To refuse such temptation, he was a man of character who feared the Lord.

One day he was working and all the servants were out of the building and the wife came in and caught him a lone and grabbed him by his cloak and asked him again to sleep with her, he refused her and ran away. She kept his cloak and accused him of trying to sleep with her. Potipher then had Joseph thrown in prison.

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Please imagine with me this scenario, so I do the right thing and I still get punished?? I might have just gotten a tad bit upset with God and questioned why he was doing all this to me. I'd ask what I did to deserve this, but not Joseph. Again his character shines, because Joseph found favor with the prison guard and the prison guard appointed Jospeh as the head of all the prisoners and he trusted everything to Joseph. Joseph was in the prison for TWO years!!! In those two years, two prisoners came in and they both had dreams and God allowed Joseph to interpret those dreams. When the pharaoh was troubled by his dream, one of the prisoners that had been freed remembered of Joseph and told the Pharoah. Joseph then interpretted Pharaoh's dream and Pharaoh saw that God was with Joseph and appointed him over all of Egypt!!

Throughout this time there was a famine all over and people were coming to Egypt to get grains. Josephs brothers came to get food, but they did not recognize Joseph. Joseph remembered them.

A lot in the middle happend but I'm going to get to a major point.

Joseph had mercy on them and told them, ""Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? ²⁰ You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. ²¹ So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them." (Genesis 50:19-21).

Wow to know that all of your suffering was for a purpose! To not be revengeful towards those who wished you so much harm and hatred, instead to just love them, save them, and provide for them!

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There's no way anyone can do this without God!
but I'm here to tell you, sometimes we may not understand why we are suffering, and at that moment, it seems as though there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but if we have faith in God and know that God has an amazing plan, perhaps, in the midst of our trials, we shall be a woman of character, whom people may look at us in our lowly condition but see something different, something worthy of honor, a heart that is faithful in God.

One of my favorite scriptures from the story of Joseph is "It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering."Genesis 41:52.

I hope you were able to read all the way through, and if not it's better to go to the real source. The story of Joseph is from Genesis 37-50.

As I read his story I just saw the comparison of how he handled his trials and how i have so wrongly handled and viewed mine. In Joseph's life I think you see God's true intentions, not to bring us harm or hurt us, but for something way better than we can ever imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope this was somewhat encouraging and uplifting!

This doesn't mean it is something that is easy, it is just something to strive for!

Sending you all lots of love!
<3Lex

Valentines Retreat!

2010-02-17T07:18:00.000-08:00

Hello lovelies!!

I hope you guys are doing good!
I know I already did a Valentinesy post and it is a little past Valentines but I thought I'd recap on our Valentines Weekend anyways :)

Our parents got us a weekend getaway at a Westin Hotel and tickets to this amazing Couples Conference called LOVE & RESPECT!

Alex and I were completely floored! You and I both know that we're completely different from guys but there's a lot of the differences that don't filter in through our mind when we get into arguments. The couple leading the conference put our differences quite simply and just to see how many of our arguments are from stupid misunderstandings. He speaks blue (respect) and we speak pink (love). To often we expect the other person to understand what we're saying and they don't and we get mad at them when they're not wrong, they're just different.

Not sure if I'm actually killing this conference for you with this explanation, if I am I do apologize!

I must say it was the most amazing conference ever though and I would highly recommend people to either try and attend one or get the video or read the book!

Here's a link

http://www.loveandrespect.com/

The conference finished Saturday like at 1:30 and we went straight to the hotel had some yummy lunch, napped, then room service dinner and a movie all cuddled up in bed! :)
You all should watch Fantastic Mr. Fox :) Not sure how much of a kid movie it was though, but we sure liked it!

Sunday morning, VALENTINES DAY, I just couldn't sleep any longer. For some reason it felt like Christmas morning and the sudden urge to JUMP ON THE BED hit me, to which Alex groaned and asked if he could sleep a little longer. "Of course my dear, I'm just going to set up your presents" I replied.

I littered the floor with happy bunny valentines cards, hid his presents under the covers (Some MAG and Matisyahu CD & DVD) and then laid his MAN chocolate box over the covers with a sweet handwritten note on the night table. Presents what? Who can hold the urge of not wanting to find out! So ...he got up and found all his goodies rather quickly :)

Then he ran down to the car to surprise me with my goodies! :)

He's so thoughtful..putting in all the things I love together.

He knows I absolutely love animals hence the doggy and I love cupcakes, hence the doggies cupcake home, and SKELEANIMALS!!!! he didn't know that but subconsciously I think he did ;)

and of course...WOW! lol

We drove back home shortly after and lounged around the house all day. We played some checkers and he attempted to teach me chess, but pretty much, he played against himself. I bought him Halo Wars which is a Halo lego piece set where you get to build tanks, which I think is pretty sweet, and he used to love legos, soo.....I am totally into the idea of staying a kid forever and doing those things that made you the happiest...so we built halo legos!! Actually, he built, and I found the pieces he needed and seperated them for him :)

It was something like this but way cooler and more intricate! and it was actual army men..just couldn't find a good enough picture.

After I cooked him his favorite meal, curry chicken by a candlelight.

We had a great Valentines Day together just relaxing and spending quality time with one another.

oh..he even helped me bake :)

So why all the ramble. Pardon me if in my writing you see an unflow of thought and words. I am brain fried at the moment. It's on mental overload and I can't seem to process anything through normally...have more of a dazed look on my face like I have no idea what is going on!

so please forgive me.

Anyways, a friend of mine showed me Kandee's blogpost yesterday and I honestly think ALL of you should read it! It spoke a lot to her and it spoke so much to my heart!!! I decided I was going to write everything she said on my mirror and tell myself every morning!!
I hope you guys find it just as encouraging!!

Kandee's Blog

I hope you guys have a lovely day!! I apologize for not being able to comment you all lately, I've been so busy, Hopefully after next week, things will get back to normal!!

Sending you lots of love!!
Lex

Love is in the Air

2010-02-11T13:37:00.000-08:00

So with the constant reminder that Valentines day is near, why not give in and make a post about Valentines?

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There's something about the feeling that love is in the air. The smiles on each others faces, butterflies in each others tummies, just the fact that someone's near.

On the other side, as a single often times, we look around at all the couples around us and begin to hate the hallmark day of Valentines where we're reminded we're alone. (I'm speaking from a past point of view) but that's not how it has to be.

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For those who are single, I hope you have an amazing valentines day with your friends! I hope you girls get each other pretty valentines cards and even flowers! go out to dinner or watch a movie! Valentines doesn't just have to be a day where you show a significant other that you love them, but where you can show a dear friend how much you love and care for them too!

Those were some great Valentines!

If you've got a loved one. Do something to let them know how much you care.

Girls, I know that we're the big romantics, but that doesn't mean that guys don't like being romanced either.

So here are some ideas:

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Decorate his house with hearts, bows and ribbons.
Cook a dinner for two and decorate the room with heart-shaped candles.
A romantic note asking him/her to be your valentine.
Make your own Valentine's Day card which expresses your feelings.
Create a scrapbook 'recollection collection' and fill it with love letters, photographs, cherished mementos, etc.
Plan a special dinner for him either in a garden or a boat. A candle light dinner is just unforgettable.
Prepare some nice valentines cookie recipe in the shape of heart and I'm sure your partner will love it.
Leave notes around the house..each one with a reason you love them, each one with a clue of where he can find the next.
If you buy balloons, write 1 reason why you love them on each balloon.

buy them a video game and wrap it in something valentinesy! (at the end, they're boys! and video games will always rule!)

ps. not all ideas were mine..for more go here.

I hope this Valentines is the best Valentine's you've had yet! That you're surrounded with love and that you spread the love!

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Since this is the holiday of love, I cannot finish this post without speaking of the GREATEST love of all!!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 1 John 3:16

I know you've all probably heard this verse and know it so well it has just become words, but please picture this with me. Imagine if you had one child, ONE! For those who can't picture having a child, imagine you're most treasured person, now, imagine sacrificing, that most treasured, loved person,to die on a painful cross for people who betrayed you and mocked you! Sure we might love people enough to die for our family and very close friends...but for enemies?!! We can't even imagine a love like that.

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I hope you all know, that you have a God that loves you far greater than you can ever comprehend!! You're not alone, You're never alone!

Happy Valentines Beautifuls!
<3 Lex

PS. DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE GIVEAWAY!!!
Spread the word and love!

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My Very First Giveaway!

2010-02-06T11:11:00.000-08:00

As I've been mentioning in other posts I've had a giveaway in mind for the past two months! The gifts have sat at the entrance for about 2 months now, but I've been waiting for the "right" time.

Right time meaning when I can make it as good/pretty as I wanted to. Well, It's about time I do it already!!

ps. sorry about picture quality

What's this giveaway about?

I wanted to make this giveaway a little different. I wanted this to be a giveaway where everyone's a winner. I know what you're thinking..Um..You're a newlywed, how can you give something to everyone?? you're not exactly well off. Yes you're right. Only one person will receive a material gift, but everyone will receive a gift that is far greater than any material gift may be.

I'm lost here Lex, please explain.

Yes, my dears, I shall explain.

The theme of this giveaway: A Random Act of Kindness.

Okay, so the point of the giveaway is within these next 2 1/2 weeks, anyone who wishes to enter must find at least one person, to do a random act of kindness to. Just to help brighten their day and turn their day around. You can do it to as many people as you wish! One is the minimum. Then you can either leave me a comment telling me about your experience, what you did, how the people reacted, and how you felt after. Bonus points if you write a blog post on your experience and link it back to this giveaway, as well leave me a comment letting me know you posted so I can go check it out. For those of you who have a youtube account, feel free to make a video about your experience and put it as a video response to my video on this giveaway.

Rules are you must be a follower to my blog or subscriber to the youtube channel.If you're both, GREAT! ^_^ comments, posts, videos must be entered no later than February 21, 2010.

There are so many hurting, lonely, people, who's whole day can be changed by one simple Random Act of Kindness. Too often we get so caught up in our busy lives to see all the difference we can make!

I really hope you guys do this giveaway! The goodies might not even be all the best, but the blessings you'll receive by seeing a lit up face has no price to it. The funny thing is that you get blessed in return.

I hope you join the giveaway where everyone's a winner!

2 Cupcake Boxes

I tried to find a list that would explain a Random Act of Kindness for anyone who didn't know. Instead I find this great example,

"We were in a restaurant and I noticed an elderly couple with a helium balloon tied to their table. When I asked them what the occasion was they told me it was their 50th wedding anniversary. I was glad and sad for them. Glad, because they still cherished each other. Sad, because they were all on their own. No family, no friends. As I went back to our table I thought that I should pay their bill. I tried to do it anonymously, but the restaurant manager was curious: what is this, who are they to you, who are you, why are you doing this? Finally, I told them I was a church pastor and felt prompted to do it. The elderly couple were stunned speechless at the counter when told a total stranger had paid their bill. They were nearly in tears. We were all nearly in tears: the couple, the manager, the waitresses, and me. Two months later I got a call. “Have you got the latest Woman’s Weekly?” “No, I only read the Man’s!” I said. Deb, who was with us in the restaurant, rang to tell me that my simple act of kindness was reported to the magazine (from memory, it was either the restaurant manager or the elderly couple). I wasn’t expecting anything in return, but that $44 or so random act of kindness touched the hearts of thousands. Imagine what would and could happen if we all practice random acts of kindness on family, friends, neighbors and strangers even for the next 30 days? Firstly, it will do something beautiful on the inside of you. And you never know what it will do to others. Go on, do something special, be creative and make someone’s day! I’d love to hear your story. Be blessed as you bless others in kindness." Source

Imagine if we all pitched in, each of us just one person! I have 210 followers right now..If each person did this, there would be 210 people who's day would be brighter and filled with love.

Please spread the news of this giveaway by Tweeting this giveaway!

Ps. If you want to see the items better check out the video.

<3 Lex

ps. there may be some surprise throwins into the mix ;)

Pig Lovin'

2010-01-29T09:02:00.000-08:00

On behalf of my oh so missed porker....I am dedicating this post to pig lovin'.

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I know a lot of people get grossed out by the idea of a pig. They have this idea that they're just little stinkers. The truth is they're actually pretty clean. If you get them from the wild of course they must be cleaned but once inside, they don't like the area they sleep in to be dirty and usually like to potty in one spot. As well, they are so easy to house break! Ours learned to go up and down stairs the first day, first shot and went out on the grass! And they'll think you're their mommy!

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via

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Hope you all enjoyed the pig series!

Here's a little clip of Alex feeding the baby piggy.

Piggy & a black eye!

2010-01-28T15:15:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness!! 200 followers!! Wow! Thank you guys sooo much for following!

I am so sorry that I haven't really been writing.

I've been so busy with work and school. School is kicking my butt! I am so ready for it to be over with. I'm doing this Excel program in Psychology that the classes are shorter and more intense but you finish faster and can still go to work full time and school full time. I have a 5 week class that I need to read 5 books for and write papers every week. I don't know how people do work, school, marriage, and kids!! You guys are honestly superwomen!! I applaud to you!

I've had so much going on. Alex and I got a baby piggy.

When we first got her she was wild and was terrified of us. She was quite the little challenged piggy. But once she realized we were the food givers, she began to think we were her parents! ::insert aww here:: We took turns feeding this hungry piggy who loved to take naps on us after. Look at Alex, you can just tell he's going to be a good daddy one day :) He was a natural with that bottle, and that piggy wasn't easy to feed.

We taught her to follow us, she learned to go up and down stairs and go pee outside. When she was frightened she'd hide underneath my skirt! She had grown to love us so much that she did not like to be in her cage, which was a piggy mansion. I'm not sure if any of you have ever heard a pig scream...but they're loud! Well, the downstairs neighbors began to complain. We thought it might have been the screaming but our next door neighbors said they couldn't hear anything. I'm guessing it was when we took the mansion piggy kennel to the bathroom to clean..apartment...no backyard..no hose...smelly kennel...not a good mix.

Well anyways. Long story short, our downstairs neighbor ended up calling the cops. We told them that sorry it was the piggy but at first they were like yea okay no really what's going on..then piggy walked in front of them. Their faces were priceless..they were like..you guys have a pig..they told us that they didn't want to but if they got another call they would have to fine us. Um we're newlyweds, we can't afford to be fined! sooo....we quickly got in the car and took her back to my parents who will take her back to the ranch and hopefully our former pet pig will adopt her since this little piggy was abandoned by her mommy.

Bye piggy! I'm going to miss you! I'm going to miss your bruise making nudges and the feel of your hooves. The way you looked at me when I fed you from the bottle and the way you'd fall asleep on me.

On Another Note

I was planning on making Valentines videos...but..I'm not so sure I can do that at the moment. Tuesday morning I woke up with a bad stomach ache..sorry if this is TMI...so I went to the bathroom..all of a sudden I wasn't feeling so good..I was wondering..omg..I feel like passing out..I said baby, baby, and after that I don't recall a thing until I slowly woke up to his voice telling me to wake up. I woke up in tears..I don't know why, but I always do. Somehow it feels like you almost didn't make it through. He had me laying flat on the bathroom floor. Quickly I remembered my stomach ache again and got right back on, I began to feel a pain on my face. Alex told me the reason why it hurt was because I had fallen straight onto the floor, my right side of my face/eye slammed into the ceramic water bowl for kitty. He said he heard me fall and ran and picked me up and laid me flat. He was so scared I died. but nope :) Slowly but surely, I felt every part of my face that landed on the tile floor...and my eye has gotten worse each day, but I am soooooo thankful that I didn't land on my nose and break it, or cracked my head open on the tub. I think of all the wrong ways it could have gone and I'm soooo thankful that God had my back on that one!

Once I got over the shock I couldn't help but laugh at what happend (this was at night that I found it all funny). I made Alex show me how he found me..please, picture with me, Head in a cat bowl, butt in the air, arms dead facing back flat on the floor...idk...just the mere idea is hilarious!!!!

Here's a little picture. You can't really tell the swelling here so much. To be quite honest, If it wasn't for the bruising, I prefer how my face looks with the swelling. I don't know how to explain it but it gave my cheeks more definition and not such a big deep crater I normally have underneath my eyes...
yes yes I'm weird I know.

Well...this is why I don't think I'll be able to post a valentines series video....but I will try and post more often!

I'm so sorry this is so long! Just letting you know what's been going on.

I hope you all are doing good!!!!

<3Lex

Speechless.

2010-01-20T07:33:00.000-08:00

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I've been sitting here since Sunday wondering what I should write about.
I mean, come on I've had a week off, I should have something to share.
but I've found myself.....speechless.

Somewhat unmotivated.

I've had so much weighing down on me, emotions I'm not comfortable to admitting to.

Somehow I was able to realize and admit the emotion I'm carrying most (or at least I feel I am).

Anger.

Anger?

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yea I don't know. I'm just angry.

I explained to you guys the whole depression thing and how I've felt I've lost myself. I used to be a girl that was so bubbly, outgoing, talked to strangers, made friends with anyone on the street, but somewhere along the journey that girl was lost. A few things have just affected me so hard. I've literally had to learn how to talk to people and be around them again. After being isolated at home sick for 4 months, I became extremely anti-social. I hated being around people, hated crowds, couldn't talk anymore without stuttering and mumbling every other word. I was no longer comfortable speaking with people. It's a horrible thing, especially when you forget how to do things that were once so natural. You don't even know how to get it back.

I've come a long way but I still don't like crowds, still get pretty shy, and sometimes still feel uncomfortable saying hi to people, so for anyone who's reading this and seen me more distant, it's not that I hate you, I really don't. I don't really know why I get so uncomfortable. I think part of it now is I'm afraid of them seeing right through me, seeing that I just feel like a mess inside, and I'm just sad.

Don't get me wrong, there are more happy days then sad days now! I've been getting better, but there's still a bunch of growth that needs to be done. But I'm just ANGRY! I want a break!! I want to feel happy again! I want to feel carefree again! I don't want to be uncomfortable in a crowd! I don't want to deal with the struggles I deal with! I just want to BREATHE!!! do you ever feel like you're just suffocating?

But I know God is faithful. I know that right now I might not understand it all, and yes, it makes me angry that I'm still in this, but I know God has a plan and there is a purpose to it all. How can I help someone if I cannot empathize with them? Somethings are just hard to understand unless you've been there, and maybe perhaps that's why I've had to go through so much. Honestly though, I'm just tired of this part. I wish I could fast forward to the good part.

I'm just being stubborn though and not trusting Him. I want things my way and NOW! but God doesn't work that way, which isn't a bad thing, because I'm sure if he just made me happy now, I would be missing out on a lot of the training. I guess he just has me going through Bootcamp now.

Well I guess so much for being speechless.

This isn't really what I would have wanted to write about. I would have wanted to write about something happy and encouraging, but instead I poured out my heart and thoughts to you guys.
Perhaps maybe, this is part of the journey I share with you. When I am healed and back to my old self and just filled with life again, you'll know why, how, and what it took to get me there as well as where I came from.

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The Song that Sings My Heart Tale

The other day a friend of mine took out her guitar and sang our class a beautiful song that sent chills all over my body. I felt every word, its as if she sang away my heart.

It's called If You Want Me To by Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to

Lets give back to Haiti!

2010-01-18T06:51:00.000-08:00

Hello my beautiful lovelies!!

I am back in action from my week hiatus!! For some reason it definitely felt longer than a week to me.

I saw that I have some new followers! Welcome and thank you so much for following! It really means a lot to me and I hope you enjoy reading my blog.

Before I start more posts, there is one major issue I wanted to address. I'm sure you've all seen what's going on in Haiti. The government of Haiti said the death toll could reach up to 200,000.
Those who have survived have their homes in rubble's.There's no way your heart can't be moved when you see the videos of what's going on there. Here's some info about what's going on in Haiti, Haiti. Click on Haiti and it will direct you.

Often we look at the TV watching all the horror going on over there wishing we could do something but then do nothing. But why? We can make a difference. Every little bit counts. I know you all have amazing hearts and this is why I'm encouraging you all to give your part to Haiti. Think of all the families, the little kids, having nothing. Lets prove our generation isn't lost! That we've got so much to offer! Let's show Haiti they will not be forgotten!

What can I possibly do? What can I offer you might be asking.
Right now they need donations! The biggest need for them right now is for people to fund those that are there rather then canned goods because there is no place to store them or take it over. Funding people like Samaritan's Purse that are already there helping will bring the most relief.

The pastor of my church is actually on the Board of Directors of Samaritan's Purse and I know first hand that all of the money goes directly to helping other people. A good thing about Samaritan's Purse is that not only are they the first one's there in the case of disaster, helping out, but they also present the gospel to these people.

Here's a link where you can donate and check videos out on what/ who Samaritan's Purse is, what's going on in Haiti, and how you can help!

Donate

I know this might be a weird post on my first day back on but I think this is just too important not to talk about! Not to do something about! This is our chance to do something.

New Logo & Some blog News!

2010-01-09T14:35:00.000-08:00

So, sitting on the kitchen table I drew up an idea of what I thought the Cupcakesniper would look like. (Don't mind the stains..I don't really know what fell on her, but still I cannot bare to part).
My hubby liked my little drawing so much he said that he would make my logo like her and so he did!!

Did you guys like my new logo up top? I was wondering whether I should shrink it or what? I really wanted to fix up my blog a bit but I am horrible at that and end up messing it all up. Any of you that are blog fixer upper gurus have any tips I'd be more than happy to take them!

Other news:

While Alex's parents are away we're dog sitting Apollo! Yipee!! Alex and I, while we were still friends, had gone to the pound together and picked Apollo out, so he's kind of like our baby and having him home is just sooo yummy!!

Yay Bangledash & Apollo aren't killing each other!!

And more news:

Hello to my new followers! Thank you guys for following and I hope you enjoy! ^_^

I just want to let you all know that starting Tomorrow to next Sunday, I will be on blog hiatus, due to some personal reasons, all good I promise. I will catch up on all my blog readings when I'm back and hopefully will be back with some new, more improved posts. So just letting you know that I didn't die off, just on a little break, but I'll be spamming you all with comments soon enough!

For those of you who are new, feel free to check out some older posts! You'll find anything from sillyness to seriousness.

I will miss you guys!!!

ps. I have some plans a brewing for a special giveaway when I get back! Keep your eyes peeled ;)

For now I shall leave you with pretty pictures!

One thing I must tell you, is I love everything make believe, like fairies, and mermaids, and my favorite...UNICORNS!!

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Hope you all have a beautiful Wonderful week!!!!! I'll be back next week!! miss me a little ;)

<3 Lex

A Sweet Surprise from A dear beautiful friend!

2010-01-08T11:56:00.000-08:00

I open our front door and there on the table is this big box, pretty in pink, with beautiful decorations.
I saw that it was sent to me and sent from....Laura, Violet Bella. OMG!! I was soooo excited!
Little butterflies filled my tummy as I thought, no she didn't! I wondered what was inside! I was like a little kid! I grabbed my hubbies knife and attempted to open the box...fail...how do I open this darn thing? There must be an easy way...turn around...there was. Finally! I open up the box and to my surprise it's filled with pretty wrapping paper and.....

This beautifully wrapped square with a surprise inside and when I turned it around to open I found..

Thank you for your card! Laura! You are the sweetest!!

You must be saying...WHAT'S INSIDE ALREADY?! Don't worry, I'm getting there ;)

She said she was at target and saw this and thought of me...I don't even know where to begin to express how thankful I am that she would even think of me! Thank you soooo much for this book! I can't wait to make all sort of goodies from it!! I showed it to Alex and he thought it was amazing!!

If that were not enough, she packed me some of these amazing baking cups!!!!!! EEEEEEE!!!

That was my reaction! I felt like a little kid at disney as I opened up this package. You can ask Alex..

I even clapped like in the scene of Nutty Professor, Hercules Hercules..except for it was at a much faster rate..and probably a much sillier level, needless to say, super excited & thankful!

AND THEN.....I think my most favoritest part...

Laura made me a cupcakesniper!!!!!! I'm a horrible picture taker and it was night time and I have horrible lighting..but there hanging off the string is a little gun shooting out the heart!I mean, is she good or what? Just every detail was perfect. This one got me right at the heart. I don't know what it is about homemade gifts, but the fact that the person thinks of you while they make something is soo meaningful...Each gift was extremely meaningful. Laura totally didn't have to at all, but I thank her soooo much for her sweetness, for even thinking of me, for all the details that add up to so much!

I will cherish this FOREVER!! I went out with the hubbs to buy thumbtacs so I can hang it up!!

Laura, I can't thank you enough!! I'm sooo glad that I've gotten to know you and become friends!

I really wish we lived closer and maybe if our hubby's get to know each other more on COD, maybe they'll invent a trip gathering ;)

One can only hope!

You guys honestly should swing over to her blog! She is soooo talented, from photography, to jewelry, to clothes, Laura is just pure talent and so down to earth. It's honestly impossible to not love her.

Thank you again Laura!

ps..remember those hearts I was seeing everywhere? Well here's a leaf I saved ;)

<3 Lex

Just a dab of motivational inspiration.

2010-01-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

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Some days are brighter than others, other days, we need a reminder of the bright side of life.

So this is a post filled with motivational quotes and inspiring images.

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For the days we listen to all the negative comments we've been told throughout our life.

"All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.
AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES." -Anon.

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For the times we are paralyzed by fear.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
-Anon.

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There is goodness in the bad.

"Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant." -Horace

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A reminder to not let our downfalls get the best of us.

Growing up I had a horrible speech impediment. I stuttered to where I couldn't even talk in class. I couldn't even give one-word answers because I would stutter, which in turn made me mad. I fought a lot and I stayed in trouble a lot. I never had someone come in and say, 'We want to have you see a speech therapist to help you'. I was too poor. People that live on the borderline of poverty do not get charity because it does not go that far down the line. I wish I had someone to help me, but it never happened. I did it myself. I still get stuck on a word sometimes, but I don't let it bother me. When I go home, people say, 'Man, it would take you 10 minutes to say a sentence when you were young, and now you're traveling around the country, speaking to corporations and thousands of people. How...did you do it?'" -Bo Jackson

For the times we're afraid to fail.

"A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it." -Alexander Dumas

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To remember to be yourself...at ALL times.

If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good.

-Thomas J. Watson

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All of these quotes and pictures I put up, not just for you all, but for myself as well. We all need to be reminded of these things. It's so easy for us to let negative views invade our mind allowing fear to paralyze us and stop us from living. Thoughts that stop us from realizing we are beautiful. Ideas of what is beautiful or talent that stop us from standing up to be different and realize different is beautiful & causes intrigue. Our fears of what others might think or say hinder movement. It is when we stand up that our differences amount to something beautiful. When fear no longer has a grasp! When we are no longer tied down by the unreal! I so often need to be reminded, it's okay not to be perfect, it's okay to make mistakes, it's okay, I'm not made like everyone else...and I want any of you who have, are, or ever will struggling with these same thoughts to be reminded of the truth. To leave this post a little more inspired.

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<3 Lex

Introducing..Mr. Husband :D (video)

2010-01-03T04:55:00.000-08:00

So although I am not giving my hubby a formal introduction, I thought this video would give you a little insight into his wonderful, hilarious, personality :D After he saw me do a tag video on 40 expressions he wanted to try it out himself.I'll post both up..but his is definitely my favorite :D

I know it seems like the dumbest thing to do, but it's actually quite fun and challenging..doing 40 different expressions is kind of tough! but..guess what! YOU'RE ALL TAGGED :D
Can't wait to see your video on 40 expressions!!

Here's the list of expressions:
1.Happy
2.Sad
3.Scared
4.Stressed
5.Shy
6.Shocked
7.Innocent
8.Unattractive
9.Asian pose
10.Sarcastic
11.In love
12.Huffy
13.Threatening
14.Typical teenager
15.Annoyed
16.Insulted
17.Lost
18.Pissed off
19.Flirty
20.Tired
21.Bitchy
22.Listening to music
23.Aggravated by a fly
24.Im watching you pose
25.Evil
26.Anxious
27.Smart
28.Crying
29.Checking someone out
30.Outcast
31.Bored
32.Daydreaming
33.Refreshed
34.Cold
35.Hot
36.Fake
37.Excited
38.Falling asleep
39.Confused
40.Winking

Comment or Email me a link to your video :D

<3Lex

Goodbye 2009, HELLO 2010!

2009-12-31T20:22:00.000-08:00

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2009, I'll miss the good memories you left behind for me, such as you are the year I married my hunk of a hubby. The year we went to Costa Rica and bottlefed baby racoons, the year got to finally not have to say goodbye. The year I gained a new family. With a lot of these happy memories though, you've brought a long some heartache haven't you? Oh yes..This was the year I hit rock bottom, but you know what 2009, I thank you for those memories, I thank you because throughout the hardships, throughout my weakest point, I learned to stop running from God. I learned I'm not strong and that's okay! I learned it's okay to depend on the one who is Greater!

2010, I have a lot of expectations for you, don't worry, I don't think they're too far out of reach..and yes..I know my effort is the main emphasis on these changes, I'm just letting you know.
This year, is the year I want to be the closest to God, the year I allow Him to change me and make me the person I was created to be. I want His love to pour out of me onto others. This year...I'm going to work to be the best wife, but I know I can't do that without God, so I'm going to allow Him to show me how! I want to be a resting place for my husband, his support system! Also, I wouuld like to lose weight and tone up :D of course, I'm sure 2010, that you have many of those requests already!
hmm..These are the main I am thinking, but I have mini goals set up as well..I'll keep you updated on those! 2010, I'm really excited to see how you'll turn out!

I'm really excited for 2010! I feel a change is coming! A fresh start! I really hope 2010 is an amazing year for all of us! Again..2010 can't offer more than we are willing to put in, so let's put our hearts into it!

Happy New Year beautifuls!
<3 Lex

I<3 Giveaways!!

2009-12-29T08:44:00.000-08:00

Okay so Sandy from Filled with Wanderlust is having a giveaway, and honestly the gifts are amazing!

Here's a visual:

to be honest...I really hope it's me because..well look at these beauties! They're just soooo amazing!

but..I will definitely be happy for any girl who wins them! They are definitely lucky!!

So I suggest you all to go over to her page and enter the contest!!

Goodluck to all you lovely ladies!

<3Lex

the smallest things fill my heart with gladness

2009-12-28T10:40:00.000-08:00

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What I'm about to write might sound crazy to a few of you, of course at first, I thought I might be crazy too, that is until today.

About a few weeks ago I just began to feel so alone and sad and I found myself crying out to God, tears rolling down my cheeks, my heart feeling empty and I told Him how alone and sad I felt. That I knew He loved me, but if He could just give me signs, that I needed something tangible. I don't know if any of you have felt this way, that you just desperately needed to feel that love, but I was. Since that day, I have found hearts everywhere. I found one in my salad, on top of the rice vinegar bottle (a little stain had formed into the shape of a heart), walking towards our place I found a dried up leaf in the perfect shape of a heart and I took it home with me. Sure these are all small things, but it is the smallest things that fill my heart with gladness. That small heart shaped item, made me smile, I felt as though I was being romanced by a God who loves me sooo much, he surprises me with the smallest things to let me know I am loved, and that He is there. At first I thought, maybe it's just coincidence, still holding on to the hope that it was from God, but I can't doubt anymore. There's been too many since my prayers, so many even Alex has mentioned I've been finding a lot of heart things lately and all I could do is smile and say, yes, because God loves me.

Today Alex brought me the Asian chicken from Wendys, and there in the corner underneath all the other little chicken pieces, was a heart shaped chicken!

No matter what you're going through or how you feel, God is there, waiting for you to come to Him.
Waiting for you to accept how much He loves you, waiting to show you, even in the smallest details!

Just want to share some adorable heart pictures with you since we're on the topic :D

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I thought this image was hilarious
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Whenever you're feeling unloved...know it's not true, cause there is a God who loves you greatly!
<3Lex