The Song that Sings your Hearts Tale

What does the title even mean?
Each of us has a story in our hearts. We carry it within us and even hold it deep inside so no one else can read it. The thing is, a song will always find you. The song with words that match your hearts tale.
There is a song that knows my story well. It's as though our hearts are connected and it sings the words within my heart, my very thoughts that flow along the melody.
So I will share the song that sings my hearts tale.

Click here to listen to Have Mercy On Me by JJ Heller.

Here are the lyrics as well:

I’m tired of being afraid
I’m wondering how I got this way
I’m trying to remember what life was like before
Panic moved in without even knocking on the door

Have mercy on me
I’m not who I used to be
Have mercy on me
Jesus, please

I’ve been praying and asking you to take it all away
You never do exactly what I say
You see me from the outside, a lover looking in
But all I see is danger moving underneath my skin


Have mercy on me
I’m not who I used to be
Have mercy on me
Jesus, please

I know it’s not because I don’t love you enough
It’s not because I’m weak, it’s how you choose to speak to me

I love your blog Award

So Lauren from the little things we do made up this cool award and somehow I was one of the 11 awarded.  If you guys haven't gone to her blog, you really should! She is the absolute sweetest cutest girl!

Here are some of the blogs that I absolutely love and must  get my daily fix of!

Stacy & Geoff Lang @ underaged and engaged are just simply the cutest most funniest couple! They are actually married now with a itty bitty baby on the way! Their blog invites you to all their little adventures with silly pics and videos! Honestly, stop by, you won't regret it!

 Laura from Violet Bella I know I awarded her before but I honestly cannot get enough of all her inspiring photography! They are breathtaking and her jewelry is beautiful! Not only is she uber talented and beautiful, but she has the most beautiful heart!!

Bri from During Winter not only is she an amazing friend but she has a heart that follows after God! She is full of inspiration and insight, and might I add, she sings AMAZING! Go listen to her music! as well, she is a great cupcake baker and always knows how to make you smile. :D Yay for smiling!

Jacque always knows how to put a smile on my face. Her blog is filled with joy and quirkyness. You can't help but love her.

Grace  oh my! Where do I even begin with this girl? She is a talented photographer, who loves to bake, is absolutely a classic beauty with such a sweet heart and love for her boyfriend. So many adorable pictures in there. Although I've never met her, I'm glad to call her my friend :D

Katie is super sweet and leaves me the most encouraging comments!I love visiting her blog, it's dreamy and she has the cutest pictures of all the exciting things going on in her life! Plus a really cute store!

Katie @ Skunkboy Creatures this woman is a source of crafty inspiration! I can't get enough of her pictures of all her little creations, her family adventures, and new hair and clothes! She is an essence of cuteness!

Silvia, the Uniqorn is from Germany and she is soo sweet! can you tell I can't get enough of sweet people? She is a lover of beauty & fashion & family! She has super fun pictures! Thank you for all your comments my love, you always put a smile on my face when I read them. I love that you're empathetic and caring!

Jaelynn, pardon my french always has the cutest self portraits followed by an invite into her mind or day. Her thrifting adventures make me wish I could go with her! I love reading her blog and being part of her little world, even if for that moment!

Kandee Johnson is one of the most amazing makeup artists I have ever seen! She transforms from princess Jasmine, to Snow White, to Michael Jackson, to an Oompa Loompa! Not only is she extremely talented with makeup but she has a heart of gold and is a fellow Jesus Lover. She is an example of someone who has been through hard times and survived and followed her dreams!! Check out her youtube channel too!

Caitlin, The August One this girl is an awesome christmas decorator. She is the type of person you probably can't help but laugh when you're around, she's not afraid to be silly and I love that about her. And no matter how many faces she puts, she still manages to look adorable!

My list can honestly go on because there are so many inspiring amazing blogs that I love to read but I'm keeping it to 11. All the blogs I follow have something different and intriguing about them and would recommend them :D

Thanks guys for reading and thanks for being a source of inspiration!

<3 Lex

my heart is broken but it is mendable.

source

This past week has been a hard week for me filled with heartache, sadness, lack of motivation, and tears.
I haven't really been able to write much because, well, my point of writing to you all is to encourage, not to drag any of you down. I feel as though I must share this though. This is for anyone who is feeling this way at this moment.

I shared with my mom the other day how I felt the depression was finding it's way back. Each day a little more sadness had been added and it was getting harder to fight off. Motivation had fleeted from me which made it harder each day to force myself to do something, keep myself afloat. Once again, I just wanted to hide from the world in my little cave. There's an uncomfortableness I feel when I'm around people I know when I'm at this state because I fear they can see right through me, see that my heart is aching, see my weakness. At that same moment, I don't have the energy to fake a smile, so instead, I disconnect myself from the world as though there's no existence.

My mom is the greatest though, she never looks down or judges me, instead gives me words of comfort, encouragement, and always sets my eyes on where they should be, without negating my feelings.
Last week she told me to check out a teaching by Jon Courson, called, The "Defacto" savior. Of course, me being stubborn and feeling "I didn't have time" I put it off...until today...until the moment I felt desperate.

These questions came up while listening...I ask you to write these down and answer them when you have some time to yourself. Maybe you'll learn something about yourself..I know I did.

1. Who or what am I serving? - we all serve something...
2. Who is my "De Facto" (Infact) savior? - What does this mean? (See question 3).
   
3. Who or what do I turn to when I'm depressed? Anxious? Worried? Afraid? Despaired?
4. What is the first thing you grab?? whether the remote control, video games, computer, food? alcohol? drugs? sex? God?
   

Whatever you Answer to 3 and 4 are your "DeFacto" saviors.

My "De Facto" savior has been video games (WOW) I used it as a place of escape from reality, a place I didn't have to think about any worries or pain. I realized this and gave it up..but I did not realize until now...I had others.

My computer...When I'm depressed, I run straight to my computer. Looking for a source of happiness out there whether in a blog, video, or pictures..internally I cry out DISTRACT ME! SAVE ME! HELP ME!

Food...I either eat a lot or don't eat at all when I'm down..hoping somehow I'll eat away my pain which only causes more pain when I look in the mirror...such a conundrum.

Bed....I just lay in bed...thinking...or wanting to sleep so I can sleep through it all. A refuge of escape.

Alex...(my husband) When I'm down I expect that he will help me and get me out of this depression, but that is too much responsibility to put on one person. He is human, how can I put that kind of pressure on him, when the ONLY one who can truly comfort me is God.

There's a story in 2 Chronicles 16:12, if you don't have a bible just click 2 Chronicles 16 
, this story is about a man named Asa who loved God and he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord.  As time went on he got a disease on his feet (for us this may be, depression, financial problems, relationship problems, school, physical issues)and in this time Asa did not seek out God but instead the physicians.
This isn't saying Dr.s are bad, but who or what do we run to first at the sight of a problem!?

He didn't ask, "Lord help me! What do you want from me? What can I do for you?"

and honestly, I haven't either. I have ran to everything else but God. Sure I've prayed, but I have not sought out God. I have not poured out my heart to God. (and then I wonder how I've gotten this way).

Instead of pouring out to God I have been more like these guys in Judges 10:

¹¹The LORD said to the sons of Israel, "Did I not deliver you from the Egyptians, the Amorites, the sons of Ammon, and the Philistines?
 ¹²"Also when the Sidonians, the Amalekites and the Maonites oppressed you, you cried out to Me, and I delivered you from their hands.
 ¹³"Yet you have forsaken Me and served other gods; therefore I will no longer deliver you.
 ¹⁴"Go and cry out to the gods which you have chosen; let them deliver you in the time of your distress."

God has delivered me from SOOOOO much throughout my life, and yet, I have forsaken him and served objects, these little "gods", such as my computer, music, myself, my husband, video games, anything and everything, asking them to help me, to give me instant relief,but I have not sought out my God.  When nothing else can be my "De Facto" Infact Savior!

God's heart breaks for us, who else's really would?

Who or what are you serving? Who or what is your "De Facto" Savior?

I feel so ashamed, that all along, my Savior has been here, stretching out His hand to help me, and I've pushed it away, saying, "these things" will save me.

If you guys would like to listen to it you can go here ->http://www.joncourson.com/teaching/teachingsplay.asp?teaching=T453

Hope you guys enjoy, don't put it off like I did.

<3 Lex

"I love Me" Award

I felt really honored when I receieved this award from Caitlin from The August One. It's kind of ironic to receive this but thank you! You guys have to go check out Caitlin's blog, she is a very beautiful, funny, intelligent, fashionable sweetheart!

So with this award I must list 10 things I love about myself. Anyone who knows me, knows this is a toughy for me, but here it goes...

1. I love that I'm a kid at heart.

2. I love that I still gasp at a shooting star.

3. I love how I can see past someone's smile and into their heart.

4. I love that I was able to gain wild deers trust and have them eating out of my hand and following me around. (does this count)

5. I love that I can relate to people, from little kids to old age.

6. I love that I'm approachable. Always wanted people to know I am here for them.

7. I love that I can keep secrets & gain others trust.

8. I love that I can bake :D

9. I love that my ears are teeny

10. I love my beauty mark that is shaped like a heart.

I present this award to:

Laura

Lauren

Anna

Bri

Twilight Vampire Makeup Tutorial

So doing a vampire look has been on my mind lately and since I had nothing to do yesterday I decided it was a perfect time to do it!  In the video you can also compare my natural eye versus the Solotica Hidrocor Ice. :D

Hope you guys enjoy the video :D

As well, since I had so much time, I did what us silly girls do, and play dress up..lol
I've always wondered what a drawn in mole would look like so.....

Just a bunch of sillyness really..hope it's somewhat entertaining

<3Lex

Operation Beautiful

So while reading a blog I really enjoy, http://www.mermaidinamanhole.com/,
I found something that is so completely amazing!

So many of us girls struggle with our self-image, constantly wanting to strive to be beautiful.
I am a guilty party, past words haunt me when I look in the mirror, and often I feel as though I've lost all reality. This is why I am so thankful for Caitlin who has created this amazing project!

Operation Beautiful

What is Operation Beautiful?
Here is a quote from Caitlin herself, " I began Operation Beautiful because I am dedicated to ending “Fat Talk” in woman and encouraging a positive body image.  I truly believe that your beauty comes from the inside, and your unique qualities that make you YOU should be valued and celebrated. "

I don't know about you, but this motivates me to write encouraging post its and put them up. It's these little things that make you smile when you were almost ready to cry.

Caitlin, I thank you for starting this!
and the rest of you readers, I hope you go visit her site and lets spread OPERATION BEAUTIFUL!!!!

<3 Lex

Wedding Series #3

Well, after the getting ready and ceremony, I guess this means we're at the reception.

People were greeted in the front with these lovely nameplates. After seeing them in one of my favorite wedding magazine, southern weddings, my mommy and mother in law made them and blessed me with them. As well, since my hubby and I are World of Warcraft fans, we decided to name the tables after different worlds in WOW, only the pretty names of course. <3

Blue and Green are Alex's favorite color so I wanted to incorporate that into the theme.

Since Alex is a MAJOR music lover, I wanted him to pick the song for our first dance, I swear he is the best song picker ever, we danced to This is the First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes.

First time I saw this pictures it brought tears to my eyes. Just the look on my dads face says so much. I picked out our perfect Father Daughter song, There Goes My Life by Kenny Chesney.

Alex and his mom, Susana, danced to Josh Groban's, You Raise Me Up.

                                       Our flower girl, Sophia, went to go take Susana a tissue <3

                                          After the best man and maid of honor speech

The birds on top of the cake holds a sentimental value. When Alex's grandfather was alive, he would buy his wife, Alex's grandma gifts with birds and called each other the love birds. Before our wedding, his grandmother gave us this musical bird as a gift, so we decided to put it as our cake toppers. <3

                                                            The original cake toppers

The end <3

PS. If you're interested in hearing the songs, here ya go:
First Day of My Life:


There Goes My Life:


You Raise Me Up

Wedding Series #2

Well, the previous post was the getting ready so I guess our next series would be ceremony.
I think with all the pictures you see why I'm breaking it up into different posts. Sorry didn't know which to pick out. I really do love my photographer.

On the way to the ceremony my dad was all cute with me. He kept fixing the bottom of my dress and asking me if I was nervous, which honestly, it felt like it was all pretend, I wasn't nervous, just excited. It's weird how unreal it felt. He even almost gave me  the whole "speech" but before things could get awkward I was like, it's okay, mom already talked to me about everything. Phew. Thanks mom for saving me from that awkward moment. When we pulled up my main concern was that Alex wouldn't see me. I'm very old fashioned in that sense and a hopeless romantic I must say. My dad was so good at making sure that Alex wouldn't as well as making sure I was fine. It really meant so much to me. Thanks dad! 

 

Pulling up to the church.  Yay! The moment has come!!

My daddy and I

 

This picture just makes me want to say...OMG SHOES!

While I was here, Alex was here...

I'm a sucker for that smile.

My rolemodels: My great-grandparents. Still in love as ever. <3

Waiting behind the curtains was where my heart felt like it was going to fly out. My stomach got all these crazy butterflies and this burning sensation! He was right there, at the other end of that curtain!  Mind you, at this point I was super scared he'd see me...but my daddy's the best and hid me behind him :D

Alex & Susana (his mommy)

I asked the photographer to place take a picture of his face as I walked down, that it was extremely important to me. Alex says he could barely breath. <3

My daddy giving me away. I love that they captured these expressions.

 

The way he looked at me, breathtaking.

 

Our mommies lighting up the communion candles

 

A visual of our union

Thats his daddy that married us!! He was the best!

The reason why we're laughing here is cause Alex thought his dad was going to say, "You may now kiss the bride" but instead he said, "lets pray"...Alex's reaction was priceless, PRAY?! lol we were dying to share that kiss.

 

Yay, finally!

 

Our fairytale came true.

Wedding Series #1

Well since so many of you enjoyed the engagement pictures I decided I'll share some of my favorite wedding photos with you, but since they're so many, I'm going to do it in parts. Today I shall share with you the getting ready.

To me, the getting ready was the most nervewrecking part. Why you ask? Well because to me, out of everything in the wedding, the most important part was how he would look at me. My favorite part of the wedding is not just looking at the bride, but the grooms expression when he sees the woman he is going to spend the rest of his life with all dressed up, walking towards him, ready to share a lifetime together. That part simply takes my breath away. Needless to say, since it's my favorite part, I wanted him to be blown away the moment he saw me, I didn't care what anyone else thought other than that man standing at the alter.

I must admit I did cry in the morning because I saw my face that morning. I felt gross, pale, racoon eyes, my hair was a mess! Thank God for my great makeup artist, Amy Palma and my wonderful hairdresser, Jen.

Another important part of the wedding to me was the photography. Over details and the rest, the photographs are the one thing you get to take with you from that wedding day. It's what tells the story of that day to your children and your grandchildren, and that to me, means the world.  I couldn't have found one better, thank you Manolo.

Ok, so I now invite you to get ready with me:

 

My mommy putting my earrings on <3 This was a picture that was really important to her and I'm glad it was. Don't know what I would have done without her!

My sis helping me put on my shoes. I'm a sucker for colorful wedding shoes.

My mommy putting on the garter for me.

Dress shots:

 

With my maid of honor (sister in blue) and bridesmaid (sister in law in green) or as the photographer called them, Jenny green & Jenny Blue.

 

 

The photographer threw some in of my hubby for free cause he knew I really wanted them. Thanks!

My hubby and his best man (his brother on the right) and his groomsmen (my cousin on the left).

                                                            Breathtakingly Handsome

                                                        White converse FTW!


I hope you guys enjoyed this series, come back tomorrow for the Ceremony! <3

<3Lex